I went trough the regular old routine. Get up. Brush my teeth. Take a leak. Get dressed. Go for a smoke. And then of to school. Another place that has high expectations from me. And another place I just disappoint.
I just float trough the day. Falling asleep here and there. Trying to survive and just get done with it. Giving a fake smile and pretend to be happy. It's all just a show. Not many know about my issues. No one knows about what I really do to myself.
I made it through the day. I got home in agonizing pain. I hate this. I'm just wasting away. No point in living my life. They say it's selfish to commit suicide, but they aren't the one that is under constant pressure. They aren't the ones that suffer every day.
I might have made through the day. But I might not make it through the week.
I walk down the lonely, empty passage leading to my room. My Parents are home. They are talking in the living room. I just hope nothing bad happens again. Sometimes I just want to run away from home again. I've done it before. And I will do it again. Only this time I'm making sure they don't find me.
I take a sharp left. Dumping my school bag in the corner and I fall down on the bed. Just passing the fact that I have homework.
My phone buzzed again.
I look at the message. Simple question. How is it going. I reply with a single word. "Shit"
Then we started talking. And I started realized there is people in my life. There are a few. I can name them of the fingers on one hand. But there is well some people. And I don't want to lose them.
It's a losing battle, but I should try at least, for ...
