It's 11:37 on a Friday night. Just laying and looking at my bleak ceiling. Plain white. Cream painted walls. Covered with cracks and chips as I tend to punch the walls when aggravated.
I can't stop thinking. Fluctuating between multiple feelings of anger, sorrow, happiness and who knows what. It's weird. I don't know what this is. It scares me.
My thoughts are on all the people in my life. Well correction. I'm thinking of all the people that left. I'm thinking of all the people that promised to stay, but still left. I'm thinking of those who are staying. And I couldn't believe how many people there actually are. I cried, I cried from joy and happiness. I have people in my life. That cares about me. But I've been blinded by negativity.
Depression is consuming me. I can't let this happen to me. I can't let it win over me.
I tucker to the left. Facing the blank wall. I take a deep breath. The aches trough my body. My bones feel as if they are broken, every single one of them. My vines are under pressure, it feels like they will burst. My muscles are cramping, all at once. My joint veel as there are glass peices between them. My legs are burning. I just want to scream.
When you have both physical and mental pain. Its hard. Its hard to deal with the every day life. It's a struggle. A hard battle that I'm fighting alone. I don't want others to fall with me. I need to be strong, every one thinks I'm strong enough, but I'm not. Not alone.
Tomorrow is Saterday. I can't deal with being by myself. I need someone to hold me, to comfort me. I need...
