I'll swear that I'll always paint you Golden Days {Ryden}

-eight-

The inside of his room was dark. He didn't bother to turn on the light for he tried his hardest to sleep. There wasn't anything else to do really. He didn't want to make the effort and get dressed to leave his safe place. Even though it was night and no one was out in the streets. The lack of motivation pressed him down onto the soft but old mattress that milder around his body slightly. The blanket pulled up to his chin he forced his eyes close which were drawn to the moon that reflected the sunlight from behind his window. The cold light did nothing besides making him Les tired then he already was. He had slept all day so he wasn't that tired anymore but he lacked the motivation to actually do something. It just seemed like too much effort. If someone would tell him what to do be would probably do it. He just didn't know what to do. There was nothing really. His room might need a clean up. Slowly he turned his head towards the mess that lay between his bed and his wardrobe. The colder air reaching his neck which was protected by the blanket seconds before. Goosebumps appeared as a response to the sudden change in temperature.

With a shove he rolled over until he was lying on his back and a hoodie of which he wasn't certain of the colour was near enough to grasp. He quickly threw it over the dirty white shirt that he was already wearing to provide a bit more warmth before he actually got up. His feet landing between all the clothes scattered around the floor. With a sigh he crouched down throwing all the shirt on one pile and hoodies or sweaters on another. Most of the stuff he wore once and never again because he was too self conscious of the colour thag other people would see. He didn't want to give away that he wasn't like them. He would just behind the clothes he knew.

With that the floor was visible again. He messily folded all the things before putting then into the closet. He repeated the process with the few pairs of pants and underpants. And with that, thus corner was clean again. It didn't match with the rest of the apartment but his sudden rush of cleaning was already gone again. But now that he used about 20 minutes on that he could feel himself being more awake then before.

His eyes scanned the room as he stood there between bed and wardrobe. His face blank. The computer cane into his vision but he drew his eyes away from it as soon as they landed on the piece of technology. He still wasn't feeling like going back to that chat room. Just to try over again and to be disappointed or to disappoint others. There was no use in searching anymore. He was nearly a hundred percent certain that he would never experience colour. Simply because there was no one to match him. He was the third wheel of this planet. And he was tired of trying to fit in. It would never happen. He would never be normal. So what was the point in trying really.

He cleared his throat from a lump he didn't know existed up until this point as he climbed over his bed to reach for the cigarettes. He hadn't had one today and now was the perfect time. He just had to blow the smoke out of him. That was soothing and felt metaphorical. As well as that he realised that he liked the company of the moon while thinking. He just liked the cold light it brought and the different tones of grey on its surface where he knew it was grey. He saw the right colours. He wasn't the one being different. That made him feel a bit less lonely as pathetic as that sounded.

His bare feet carried him towards the glass door that parted him from the chilly night air. At this point he told himself he didn't care if this guy was there. Still he looked in case he would be already out. But the left balcony was empty. With a sigh of relief he opened the door and stepped outside. The cold stone immediately sending chills down his spine but he didn't care. He had stood here in worse temperatures. He walked up to the metal railing that was graced with little circles of black ash. He began to lean his forearms on it before lighting a cigarette, inhaling the smoke as soon as the little stick would light up. The familiar little sting passed his throat before he decided to let the smoke free again. The shadow danced through the night and in front of the moon as it slowly dissolved into the air. A mesmerizing sight that would take up all your thoughts for a short period of time. He knew that smoke was grey as well. So that also fit together. Still. That didn't replace being able to see all the colours.

His leg began to bounce quickly as this thought crossed his mind again. He was a broken bone. He wasn't any use here on this planet that he would call home. Was this even home? He wasn't sure anymore. His gaze began to fall down, away from the light of the moon. Towards the ground that was so far away. He always found it weird how small everything looked from up here. He could watch all the people looking down but no one would ever look up. They were all to busy with their own life's. He could drop something down and no one would realise until it hit the floor. Until it was to late and it would be unfixable broken.

His head snapped up as he heard the sound of a door being opened. Hesitated steps came closer to his left side and stopped there. The click of a lighter could be heard. Once. Then twice. Then three times. Then four. Until a annoyed 'tsk' could be heard. Brendon stiffened up as he began to realise what that meant. The guy was out of fire. Either he would leave now, go back inside or he would ask for fire. But he didn't do anything. Be just stood there in silence. Brendon peered over his shoulder as he saw the guy standing there watching the moon with a unlit cigarette gently placed between his lips.

The moon lit up the pale skin of the boy lightly as the soft breeze went through curly hair. He seemed to have no intend of to it back inside even though his cigarette wasn't lit. He could offer him fire. It wasn't like that was that much of a big deal, right? If the guy wanted to smoke then Brendon could lend him some fire. He took a long drag before he held out his arm to his left. "Fire?", he mumbled looking at hid own hand that held the lighter. The guy flinched a little not expecting to hear the voice of his neighbour. His slim body turned towards the smaller man as he carefully reached for the lighter and took it. "Thanks ma...", as he looked up Brendon did the same. Their eyes met. Both stopped breathing out of shock.

It was dark but Brendon was sure. He was wrong some thing that wasn't white black or grey. He had never seen this before. What was that? What did they call that? It couldn't be possible. There was no way. No. His breath hitched as he let go of the lighter. Gravity pulled it down between the both balconies. Falling down getting faster and faster until it his the ground ad shattered into tiny pieces. But Brendon could care less about the lighter now. He quickly retrieved his arm and used the time that the guy was looking down to the lighter to escape. He went inside his apartment as fast as possible without looking back. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening right now.

He paced back and forth in his apartment being sure to stay away from the balcony. His apartment looked all different. His wardrobe looked different. His desk looked different but neither of then loomed like the eyes of the guy. It was similar but not the same. What was that? His arms were hugging himself as he stared at his furniture in disbelief. This wasn't okay. This wasn't okay at all. What would he tell his parents? Or in general people. He had never heard of this before. He didn't know that this could happen? Why would it happen? The reason of finding your soul mate was making kids. So why? The panic took over as he couldn't even enjoy his new vision.

Then there was a knock at the door. Brendon froze.