BTS One Shots

Dead Leaves

Taehyung's POV

Life never felt like a task I need to complete since she left, each day that passes by became monotonous. It felt like I'm just existing losing the value of living, an endless pit of hollowness in my heart that only she can fill. I think I'll lose my mind if I went through with this process called life longer, I just want to end everything. It had been three years since it happened, but it felt like yesterday. Her tear stained face is still vivid in my memory, thinking about it makes my heart ache. Knowing that it was my fault doesn't make it any better, I'm filled with great amount of regret on letting her go. If I treated her better she would've stayed.

Moving on was never easy, specially if I'm still living in the same apartment we once shared, every corner of the flat reminded me of her, good and bad memories plays in my mind every time I step inside. My friends and family eggs me to find another place, start a new life without the memories of her lingering, but I'm too stubborn to do so. I just can't let go, I'm still not ready to let her go.

A sigh escaped my chapped lips due to the bitter coldness of the winter season, my steps quick just to arrive in the comfort of my home. I was welcomed by the deafening silence, flicking the light switch on, the messy living room came into view. Keeping the place neat was hard, if she was here I would not be suffering on inhaling a dusty filled home. I trudged to the bedroom, my heart clenching in pain yet again, it was the place where we created our own world. Staying inside the room always made a bitter-sweet smile etched on my lips, the polaroid photos decorated on the wall still in tact, the memory of the 5 years we spent together seen. You've always had a passion with photography that's why you took it as your major when we got into Uni. Most of the photos in the room were me, you always gush on how you love to make me as your subject, making comments like I was made to be a model, how unrealistic I look with the photos you're taking, how little do you know the photos were only perfect because you were beyond the lens, my smiles were only made for you. Now that I've become a model, like you wished before, it was difficult when the photographer asks me to smile, a genuine smile. I can't remember when was the last time I've given a smile that reached up to my eyes, without you I find it hard to lift the corners of my mouth sincerely. I can no longer smile without you jagi. Taking the photo on the night stand that you gave as your gift for our 5th year anniversary, which had me smiling my signature boxy smile, eyes twinkling with sheer love when you muttered the words "Jagiya, I love you so much. I want to spend my lifetime with you." Before clicking on your camera, you claimed it was your favorite photo you've taken of me, so I take the utmost care with it, I gently laid it back to its place and plopped down on the bed where we spent a lot of times in, from the deep conversations we have at midnight, lazy weekends we spend laying on the sheets, you "consoling" me with kisses after losing another match as we play my favorite game, overwatch. Intimate times where I made love to you countless of times, the stars and moon witnessing how we become one, and the last place in this house I spent with you.

I took the pillow you used, your scent no longer lingering making a frown evident on my lips, kicking my shoes off and throwing the beanie and coat I was wearing before laying on the queen-sized bed. A pathetic chuckle escaped my lips, remembering the reason of throwing my old bed years ago.

Flashback

After picking you up from the University, we headed to my apartment like we usually do when Friday comes. It was like a routine where you spend your weekends with me, since we don't have enough time to be together during school days. As you say, it was making up for the time where you can't be with your gorgeous boyfriend.

We spent the whole night watching movies. A Walk To Remember was always on the list of the movies we need to watch, I've memorised the lines already but I don't have the heart to complain as it was my baby's favorite movie. As the credits roll on the screen, I looked at you, your cheeks wet due to the movie. I chuckled, it's still a mystery how you always have a waterfall in your eyes after watching the same movie from thousands times already, kissing your forehead as I wrapped my arms around you, pulling your sleeping form closer to my chest. A satisfied smile formed on my lips, you stir in your sleep, mumbling incoherent words which I couldn't decipher, shaking my head I've remembered how you always sleep talk when you don't drink tea before bed. I picked you up from the couch and marched carefully to the bedroom for you to sleep comfortably, laying you gently on the bed following suit. I was staring down your face, everything felt perfect, the way the moonlight shines  illuminating your face through the darkness and the way our limbs are tangled together, in that moment I was certain, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Peppering your face with kisses as I attempt to wake you up from your slumber, not minding the fact that you might murder me since you hated being disrupted when you sleep, I could not wait till morning to ask you this question.