The boxer and the bitch

Chapter 17 - I hate you

*Can yo girl have some inline comments? That shit makes me day.

♫Real friends - Camila Cabello♫

Silence.

All I hear is silence as I lay on the dusty couch in darkness. It's afternoon and Rex has got lights installed in the room, but I don't bother with them. The first thing I did as I entered my domain was throwing my bag somewhere and the likewise treatment for my body as I fell on the couch, without even doing so much as opening the curtains or switching a light on.

I've been laying here since. I don't know how much time has passed or what is happening outside. I just know it's somewhere around the afternoon because of the bright sunlight peeking from between the curtains.

I feel.....jittery.

It's so hard to describe how you feel with a word or just a sentence but all I know is, the pace my heart is going at, it's boutta fracture my rib. I want to jump, scream, yell, break things, punch someone, throw someone off a building, but I keep lying here staring at the chipped ceiling.

There are just so many things. Ari must be hating me. He has all the reasons to and I'm not even going to defend myself. I was 19 when I met him, he was 10. He used to be so closed off and insecure and I wanted nothing more than to strangle his heartless parents with my bare hands. Nevermind, I still do. He finally had someone who he didn't have to be paranoid with, someone he could be himself around. What if there's no one for him at his school? I could've simply ruined it all for him.

I'm not careless. Maybe I am, but sure not when it comes to Ari. I'm not a great big sister but I've been looking for a good school and collecting up since I met him. I wasn't able to do much but adding up a whole years salary from the garage, I've successfully made it for Ario to go to a school that I thought has the best environment. That's what my top priority has been all along.

The other art unis were asking too much money to take me in in the last moment and I thought it's better to spend it all on Ari instead of me. I mean it's a Uni and school we're talking about. School is more fundamental and important so I was obviously gonna choose that. I'm just, I don't know how I'm feeling. It's like I've done everything I want to do and I'm just not content.

I miss Ari.

First time in a good ass while, I move my lifeless limbs to grab my phone from the dresser behind me and look for Gray, the admission counsellor's number. When I scroll down and reach it, because I'm so out of my mind that I didn't simply type it in the search bar and find it easily, my eyes flicker a couple of contacts above it. Boxer guy.

I click on the contact and change the name to 'Candy boy' and just keep looking at it. The boy did me dirty and ruined my cool. I've been thinking about so many things but somehow he's been prominent. Very prominent. But I'm not going to text him, or contact in anyway. He has my number and I just want to see who gives in first. I just want to see if he would want to hold contact with me still.

I just want to know what he's thinking, what made him kiss me? Just why?

I bring out my phone again and open google, typing 'why did he kiss me?'. I get bombarded with results so erotic and unreal that I throw my phone near my leg somewhere while breathing like I'm shorting on oxygen. It's just getting worse.

I've been feeling his lips on mine since it has been there and I don't think I'm gonna forget about it anytime soon. I cannot deny how amazing it felt though. Being the closest I've been to a person physically has ignited something in me. If that something is good or bad, I can't differentiate but it sure is dangerous.