Imagery

Should I Let You Go

Somehow, I've managed to fall in love with you
You, someone who at first i despised
You dragged me to the depths of hell and then you brought me back to earth
With a kiss
Not a kiss but three
You sparked something then fed it and then sealed it
I had vowed to not date again until i was ready to marry
But you fucked that vow up
I dont know if i should keep you
I dont want to cause i love you
But i dont want sex like you do
Im not healthy and frankly i dont think youre happy with me
Yet we want to fight for each other
Make sacrafices
And i couldnt let such a good team member go
Yet i have this nagging feeling
It gnaws on the back of my neck
It tells me to let go
Its raining right now.
The pitter patter of droplets crashing into our roof and windows
We love the rain
But right now you want space
"Don't touch me..." you say, "i dont know how to feel about physical contact right now. Its painful for me to hear you bring up our promise"
Promises
Ones i want to keep ones i may struggle keeping
The rain makes me think of you and i cant sleep
I want to hug you say im sorry if it would just fix us
But it cant
I want to cuddle you and sleep with you
Keep you company and give you affection
But all i get is a cold honest dismissal
I guess i deserve that
So where are we
Do we stay and continue to fight for us
Or
Do we part ways and give up the fight
I dont know and i dont think i ever will.
As the rain falls i quietly dampen my pillow as i try to sleep.
Soft sobs shake my body as i drfit off
I think ill keep him still...