LITOST

~ REALISATION ~

He wished he would never wake up, that could be one way of making his dreams last. But that wish was an impossibility. For to dream; one had to sleep and sleep appeared to be as fickle as his dreams. Haunted by dreams that had died, dreams that had been killed, dreams that had been broken; his life seemed to be a perpetual pursuit of an elusive dream, a simple dream of love and laughter.

But dreams come slow and they go so fast....

Badi Maa and Bade Papa, they were the parents he adored and loved, it was a glance of appreciation from his Bade Papa that he craved for, worked for and lived for. One gesture of affection from his Badi Maa was enough to wipe out all aches of his heart.

When he had realised how wrong he had been in seeking revenge from his Bade Papa, he had been wracked by guilt and remorse and had hoped for forgiveness when he had merged his firm with theirs. It was befitting he had felt, the embodiment of five years of his life, his sweat, toil and blood now being amalgamated with their enterprise. He thought he was close to his dream of being a son of that house.

When they had accepted his love for Swara and welcomed her with open arms, his Bade Papa had declared her to be the daughter of the house. He had been very happy though it was his dream to be a son of that house. And on that day, when Laksh had broken all rules and married Kavya, his Bade Maa had lamented as to why her son could not be a little like him. He sympathized with her but felt a trickle of pride, too.

He prided himself for being the son they wanted; till he realized that there was a difference between being a son and being like a son. One word and a world of difference, he thought ruefully, and he learnt that though he was of their blood, he was never of their family.

For when it came to choose, they chose their errant sons over him.

But dreams come slow and they go so fast....

His parents, whom he loved to a fault. And who loved him too, but just not as much as he would have liked or wanted. With his father worshiping his elder brother and his mother following her Jiji, he was always second in their affections. As a child, despite the love he received from his Badi Maa and Bade Papa, he dreamt of being a son, not a nephew loved as one.

He had been grateful when his mother had supported him in his mad quest for revenge, though he was not sure of what passion drove her. She had not been pleased when he had stepped aside from his plan for revenge and had been furious when he had decided to stand by Swara. His mother had then gone on to side with Ragini, to stand against him and Swara; it hurt but he did not care, much.

His father had already declared his liking for Swara and actually taken her side against him, when he had decided to free Swara from the bonds of, what was then, a loveless marriage, for she had not loved him. When finally all the truths came to the fore, and Swara accepted that she loved him too and his mother came around, he hoped, hoped that his dream of a loving family would last.

He had held on to that dream for quite some time, till it was shattered by the words and deeds of his cousin.

He chose his mother; his father chose his brother and his mother followed suit when she decided to forget everything and side with her Jiji. All that was left of that dream was the bitter taste of loss.

But dreams come slow and they go so fast....

His cousins, Adarsh, whom he respected and Laksh, whom he loved and neither had hesitated to hurt him. It had always been his lot to make up to them, the first to extend the olive branch. They took it as their due.