Illicit Affection

Introduction

My body stopped as I watched him intensely when he walked into the classroom with his teammates on his side. My breathing stopped on que. He laughed along with his friends as they joked around like always before the bell ranged. His smile made the room brighten and my heart jump widly. The way his dimples form on his cheeks always knocked in my boots. His vanilla skin tone was nicely moisten. He dressed decent everyday. He have the most gorgeous blue/green eyes that makes me drench. He was perfect. I couldn't contain my smile whenever I seen him. He was my dream man. I wanted him badly.

But the only problem was he was white and I'm black.

I shook my head as my interpective thoughts was building inside of me again. He would never want a black girl like me. I don't have a chance. There were beautiful white girls around him everyday. Why would he want...me? A little, insecure black girl. My anxiety and low self-esteem quickly collasped on me like a huge burden. I felt the tears sting my light brown eyes.

I sighed quietly, trying to contain myself from a emotional breakdown. Everytime I think of this my heart aches with rejection. I can't just help it. My feelings for him are deep but I can never have him. Never . In this community interracial couples weren't accepted lightly. It was illicited or ''forbidden'' in the upper class eyes. I can't have a love life here then because majority of the school are not my skin color.

I always felt out of place in this school. It's 95% white and 5% of other races. Not only that, kids here make fun of me because I look different from them. They stare at me like I was a alien or a walking charity. They all think they are above me. I wish they wouldn't treat me like I'm beneath them. I'm not afraid to fight someone or the whole school. It's me against the student body.

I mean, it hurts to know I can't be ''normal'' but I ignore it most of the time. I don't have that much friends here, it's kinda hard fitting in being the 'odd ball'. Rumors about me always spread quickly. Many say that I'm only here because my mom is fucking the principal or I'm too dumb to find where my real school is located. Which is a total lie. They can't accept that I'm here because of all the stero types in the world. I mean not all black people are stupid, loud, hood, improper, ''ratchet'' or ''ghetto'''. Not all were raised in a rough area either. That's like saying all blonds are dumb, Chinese people can't see, or every white person is rich and etc. There is alot of rednecks , sterotypes, and racist people in this world, majority goes to this school.

I'm not a racist person, I want to bond with every race to learn new things and reach to the diversity and the beauty of the different cultures and ethnicities. It's easy to be friendly to these kinds of people but it's hard to recieve the same gratitude back. Not all are like this, some are.

And you may ask, why am I here with a bunch of rich, prepy white folks? Easy.

I live in the Sunburns with my mother. She is a sucessful doctor and well off. She immediately moved us out here for a better lifestyle. She placed me in a top educational school and made sure I have all honors and AP classes. I didn't mind at first, I was intelligent for my age. Everything came so natural to me. I was proclaimed as gifted. I could get into any college I want to.

If only I had a different skin color, I would be able to be treated, equal for once. Not the way Martin Luther King Jr. thought of. Equal in more definition, meaning not look to as apiece of shit. Yes, there aren't seperate schools, restuants, and other places for the types of skin color. Yes, whites and blacks can get along. And yes, African-Americans are free from the captivity of white men but are we really ''equal'' or ''free''? With all the hatred in this world and all the hell one race went through, I always questioned God on ''Why?'' Why is this specific race spitted on soo much.? We're just like everyone else. Not a foot stand or toy for men that think they have all the power in the world.

''Goodmorning class'' Our history teacher, Mrs. Rosenthal annouced, cutting off me thoughts. The final bell must of ringed already. She shut the door as the talked stopped. ''This week starts off Black history month as we all know'' She explained. The class groaned. My cheeks fluttered red. This is the month I dreaded, February. It's the most uncomfortable feeling to talk about your own people; being the only one in the class. Sly comments are always thrown my way. I usually stayed home during this time to advoid this.

''Why we gotta learn about this crap every year? I mean a whole month dedicated to black people? Come on, I rather watch roots to get it over with'' A girl whined. Some people agreed as the class uproared with side conversations and remarks. I bit my tongue, tapping my fingers on the desk. This was only the beginning and it wasn't even the worse.

''Hey! Don't be rude Trish. It's important to know background on this type of subject. It's only fair. Black history play a heavy role in our world today'' Mrs.Rosenthal explained. I nodded, agreeing. ''Yeah, in my bank account'' Trish smirked. I looked at her as she smiled my way. ''What?'' She snapped. I rolled my eyes. ''Ms. Golding! Stop it at once or you out of here!'' Mrs. Rosenthal yelled. ''Whatever'' She said and rolled her eyes, checking her fake nails. I rolled my eyes as I bit the side of my cheek. But ebing in this area I'm use to this.

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Jamie is on the side (the main character ) >>