All. I. AM. - Tom Schaar

Chapter 1

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I bit my lip, starring at my reflection in the mirror that was placed on the back wall of the clothing store I was currently in. My teal blue eyes roamed my body, examining the black shorts that reached my mid thigh and the floppy white T-shirt I wore. On my feet were my lucky, worn out burgundy converse, tied into a loose knot. Placed on top of my head was a black and zebra print Snapback, the words 'F**KIN' PROBLEMS' written across the top in bold letters. My dirty blonde hair hung down my back in loose curls, and my makeup was left natural. The mascara and eyeliner that was applied to my eyes made my eyes stand out more than they already did and the pink lip gloss on my lips sparkled.

If someone were to one day ask me if I thought I was beautiful, I would say yes. Not because I'm conceited or over confident, I just don't think I need to change. I don't think anybody does.

And don't get me wrong, i have my bad days. There are day's when i look at myself in the mirror and think 'what if'.

Who has to know?

When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

I sighed, moving away from the mirror and making my way back to the front of the store. I ignored the faint 'goodbye' that came from the two employees at the register and pulled open the door, exiting into the sun. I dropped my skateboard onto the ground; hoping onto it and lightly kicking the ground for a boost. I dodged past the sweaty pedestrians who were dressed in strapless dresses and khaki shorts, making my way towards the beach.

I'm not the nicest person you'll meet. It's no that i hate everyone, it's just that i don't believe in kindness. I grew up knowing nothing of what the word meant; i don't possess it as a quality.

My eyes roamed over the skate park that was crowded with many teenage boys and then back over to the beach where toddlers ran around in water wings. I came to a halt, kicking my board up into my hands and took a step onto the burning sand. A sudden groan of annoyance left my lips as my phone began blaring, the all too familiar Cheap Trick song blasting from the speakers. I slipped my backpack off and unzipped the front, pulling out my shitty flip phone.

I accepted the call and brought the phone to my ear, "Hello?"

"Hey, how's everything going?" Jason's voice rang through the phone, a deafening car horn coming not to long after.

Jason is my twenty-three year old, occasionally not as annoying, older brother. He has my mothers looks; brown hair, brown eyes. Because of his looks you'd expect him to be the classic surfer/party animal/druggy stereotype, but he's not.

"Good, I'm actually at the beach right now." I muttered, sitting down on the cement wall that separated the beach from the sidewalk. "I also have a job interview in a few minutes so I should probably go."

I heard my brother sigh, rattling of car keys in the background. "Lenny, you're supposed to be at school. Why are you at the beach right now?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm at the beach because I decided to ditch my first day of school and I have a job interview in a couple minutes."

"Lenny, you're fourteen, you don't need a job. Go out and have fun, meet some friends."

"You expect me to have fun in a new state with a broken arm?" I questioned, standing up from the cement wall and making my way along the pathway. "And besides, you and your girlfriend had to drive all the way to New York to get me and now I'm living with you, the least I can do is get a job and pay for my stay."