Just. Keep. Skating.

Is Life Really So Cold?

I keep my eyes shut, not wanting to look at my ankle. Dr. Naomi pinches a spot of my tights by my knee in order to cut them off so she can further examine my ankle. When my skate had come off, I heard my mother and Dr. Naomi gasp. I took that as a sign to just keep my eyes closed and let Dr. Naomi do her thing.

I winced when Dr. Naomi brushed past my ankle slightly. She put gloves on her hands and gently as she could, took hold of my foot with one hand. I flinched feeling her move my foot a little and tried not to cry.

"This swelling worries me and I don't like this discoloration. I want X-rays," she tells me and my mother. I feel my mother grab hold of my hand and I squeeze hers tightly.

With my eyes still closed, two nurses help me into a wheelchair. They have my leg propped up on the chair, a pillow underneath it. They wheel me down some hallways for what feels like for ever before we finally stop.

I'm helped up yet again then laid onto a table with a pillow propping my leg. I hear the nurses moving stuff around and I feel someone lay something on top of my torso.

"Wha- what is this?" I ask moving my hands to feel it. It has a stiff and thick texture and it feels heavy against my skin.

"It's like a smock, Ms. Ice," I hear a kind female voice inform me. "It'll protect you from the radiation of the X-ray machine."

I lay my arms down by my sides again and nod my head. "Okay, okay. Thank you," I say and I hear an 'mhm no problem'.

"We're going to take the X-rays now, okay Ms. Ice?" I hear a males voice say to me. I nod my head and not a minute later I hear the machine whir to life above me.

Three buzzer sounds later the machine's whirring dies down and I hear the nurses come back. They lift me up then sit me down in the wheelchair. We get back to the room and I get sat on the patient's bed. I feel my mother grab my hand for what feels like the millionth time today. I try to push the worry out of my mind, but it's decided to take up residence within my thoughts and emotions.

Along with worry is fear. What if I'm really messed up? What if I can't skate anymore? What am I supposed to do if I can't skate anymore??

I lay back, hoping my ankle is out of my field of vision, and open my eyes. At first the lights are really bright and I blink a couple times trying to adjust. After they adjust, I stare blankly at the ceiling. And now we wait.. wait for the results of my fate.. I think letting my mind wander.