Touch Me Not

Chapter 59 "Lourdes"

Touch Me Not
#Chapter 59- Lourdes

"P-please listen"  sumamo ko sa kanya. Ayokong tanggapin na ang paghakbang niya palayo ay hudyat ng katapusan ng relasyon naming dalawa..

"C-Caloy, please" I begged..

Ang mga mata niyang malamlam ay mas lalong nagpapahirap sa akin. He looked like giving up on me.

Sinusumpa ko ang sarili ngayon pa lang dahil sa hindi pagsabi sa kanya ng totoo. If ever he has decided to break up with me ay ang sarili ko lang ang sisisihin ko.

I cried infront of him--too much that it hurts but can you blame me? There are things in the world that you just have to do, and my engagement to my lawyer was one of them.

Oo nakakainis ang paglilihim ko pero hindi naman importante ang engagement na'yon. Ang mali ko lang ay hindi ko magawang sabihin sa kanya kahit na karapatan pa niya. Did I act selfish in wanting him all for myself? Was I a bitch that when he asked for my forgiveness in the things he did ay pinahirapan ko siya? Gayo'ng kahit ako pala ay may lihim na mas malala?

I just wanted to deal with my problem alone. Sanay na akong magisa,  masisisi mo ba kung ganito ako? I was buying my time until I was ready kasi masakit ang masaktan. Masakit ang maiwanan. Masakit ang  mapagpilian.

Maybe I am not courageous as he is. Isa akong duwag. Sa kabila ng tapang ng hitsura ko ay ang karuwagan ng pagkatao ko.

"You played your cards well. Iba ka, you are selfish!" He said, gone was my sweet Caloy.

Napapahikbi akong tumingin sa kanya. Sa hitsura niya ngayon ay alam ko nang puputulin niya na ang ugnayan naming dalawa.

"I- I maybe am b-but I will not explain my side anymore since you do n-not want to listen." I let out a tear, trying to guard myself again from pain.

"Alam kong nasaktan na kita. Kung susukuhan mo man ako ay wala na akong magagawa, hindi ko na ipipilit ang dahilan ko" naluluhang sabi ko.

He stepped back again at napailing iling. "Ganyan ka naman eh, you always seek for the easiest escape! Yo always give up on me, I am not worth the fight, you do not love me enough"

'I am just scared' I wanted to say...

"I'm sorry for being weak, I am sorry for being selfish, I am sorry for being a coward but don't ever tell that I do not love you enough because---"

Hindi ko na natapos ang sinasabi ko because I saw him getting down on his knees and pulling out a small red velvet box. My eyes were blurry of tears but I saw him holding a ring box.

"A-anong ginagawa mo?" I asked histerically. This couldn't be just an act..

"Mirheya if you think I haven't done my research then you were wrong" he said, nawala na ang galit sa mga mata, mischief was playing in them.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked. Holding my chest, feeling ko sasabog na ako sa emosyong nararamdaman ko. Naguguluhan na talaga ako sa inaakto niya. Yung pakiramdam kong mawawala na siya sa buhay ko kanina ay sobrang sakit at ngayon naman ay nakaluhod na siya sa harapan ko.

Mas lalo akong napahagulgol, when he opened the box. Halo halo na ang emosyon ko.

"B-bakit mo ito ginagawa? Bakit mo ako minamahal ng ganito? I am not deserving, I was not truthful" I managed to say between my sobs.

He smiled gently, "You will never know how much I understand you, how much I adore you for being what you are, how much I appreciate you for selflessly loving my child, how much you fight for what you believe is right, how much you make my heart thump every time you cry and hurt, how much you take my breath away whenever you smile and how much more I can love you until you say yes, to me. Please be my wife Mirheya Cara Melendez for I believe no other woman can surpass the feelings I have for you"