Steel Wolf

Nightmare

The banging and clanking of bolts being retracted. Hinges squeaked as the door was opened. Faceplate raised, Sergeant Rosada peered into the dark room, backlit by light from the hallway. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness within. There stood a fully clothed, sweat-soaked Tanaya, her normally lustrous long blonde hair now tangled and matted.

The huge warrioress took a few steps toward the door, grinning; her head tipped downward slightly, giving her the appearance of a wraith. Rosada took a step backward into the passageway.

"Surprised, Sergeant?" asked Tanaya, her normal smoky voice evident once more.

"No, Commander," chuckled Rosada. "If I'd had to draw steel, I wanted a fraction more time to make sure I was doing it for the right reason."

"Very good, Nazaretta," replied Tanaya, as Private Duncaster reached up from behind her to cradle her head. The battlemage closed her eyes to evaluate her leader.

"Commander, you're exhausted," she said. "While I cannot give you an order, I can make an extreme and explicit recommendation that you go to your quarters, take a very hot bath, and then rack out until we reach Pathwood Keep, this afternoon."

"I need to see Serenna. Ask her questions. So many questions."

"Her Majesty is otherwise engaged, Commander. I'll inform her of your condition and whereabouts. You need rest. Any further strenuous activity will severely hinder your ability to stay healthy. How can you lead us if you're down with a fever?"

She knew her battlemage was right.

"All right, Jarana," she smiled. "Thank you. Wake me one hour before we dock."

As a bedraggled Tanaya made her way to her quarters, she picked out the occasional curious glance from crewmembers. More than once, she caught the eye movement of a Guard as she walked past in sweat-soaked clothes.

Greeting the two Guards at her door, she noted one was very small and petite, even in the golden armor.

"Are you Private Rivers?" she asked.

"Yes, Highness," came the reply from behind a closed faceplate.

"I'm glad you weren't sent to Goxell-Galbria. See me after we dock in Pathwood Keep. I may have a new assignment for you."

Tanaya entered the room and closed the door without waiting for a reply.

-o0o-

Dreams. Fitful dreams. Hurtful dreams. Strange dreams.

Standing in the middle of the forest, she stared at her hands. Blood stained the blonde fur around her claws. Serenna at her feet, throat torn out, her wife's neck spurting obscene quantities of blood. She looked to see those around her. Rance, Amanda, Rafe, Susan...the whole of her former cadre stared at her disapprovingly.

"We know who you are," said Rance.

"We know what you want," Rafe intoned.

"I won't help you get it," said torn-throat Serenna.

"Follow me," said Anston Torm. He began to walk away. She dropped to all fours and trotted after him.

He walked behind a tree. As she rounded the tree, she found herself walking down the middle of the dirt street in her home village of Dunston Greave. People on horseback casually moved on either side of her, oblivious of her presence. The people walking nearest the buildings also ignored the wolf walking down the street.

As she neared the bakery where she worked during her school years, she spied a gangly blonde teenager coming out, head down, brushing confectioner's sugar from her hair, as she herself used to do. The girl turned and walked a few steps to the corner. The girl looked to her left and sprinted out of sight. Trotting to the same corner, she rounded it to see the girl slamming a much larger boy into the wall over and over. Behind the blonde girl was a smaller girl with short dark brown hair, arms folded as she hugged herself. The blonde girl gave a massive final shove to the boy, his head thunking into the wall. He crumpled, beginning to convulse.

The blonde hugged the brunette to her, and the pair moved away down the street, arms around each other.

At a distance, she followed the girls down the dusty street until they crossed a side street, entering a small house, constructed of boards and patched with tar.

Before she could cross the street, a full regiment of Regular Military soldiers marched between her and the house, the cloud of dust they raised obscuring her view of it. She paced back and forth as they passed, impatiently waiting to get across.

As the last of the soldiers marched by and the dust settled, she saw the house once again. Broken. Smoldering. She looked around. The village was a wasteland. Broken bodies lay everywhere. She saw that their throats had all been ripped out. Some had been eviscerated.

She turned to follow the soldiers. They were gone. She entered the street, looking at the ground. There were no footprints. There should have been hundreds of footprints.

She turned her face to the sky, her mouth opened in preparation to howl in misery and sadness, the knocking began in earnest.

-o0o-

It was more of a pounding.

"HIGHNESS!" shouted a male Guard through the closed door. "HIGHNESS! Please answer, Madame! We will open the d---"

"I'm fine, private," Tanaya answered, paws returning to hands and fingers. "All is well. Bad dreams."

"Should the healer come in, Highness?"

"I said I'M FINE, PRIVATE!" she bellowed at the door, a slight growl mixed with her usual smoky voice.

"Sincere apologies, Highness," he said.

Three small raps at the door.

"Slag-dammit! Private!" shouted as she flew to the door, throwing it open to find a perplexed Jarana standing there, clad in casual clothing. Before Jarana could move, Tanaya's hand shot out to grab her by the shirt and jerk her inside, slamming the door.

"Jarana," Tanaya began, as she slumped onto the edge of the bed. "I think I'm losing my mind. I just had a most awful nightmare."

The battlemage placed both hands on Tanaya's' head, uttering an incantation. Instantly, Tanaya felt some of the tension drain away. The memory of the dream was still fresh in her mind, but she wasn't nearly as anxious.

She briefly described her nightmare to Jarana.

"Tanaya," the battlemage said, all pretense of formality gone, "you've just undergone a tremendous biological, physical, and emotional change. Each of those, by themselves, would wreak havoc on anyone. The fact that you are pushing yourself to the limits of even a Queen's Guard, exhaustion being a major factor, is not helping one bit. You're simply trying to do too much at one time, madame. Pathwood Keep is in sight. We'll dock in an hour. As I said before, I can't order you to stand down; it's not my place. However, I recommend that you take at least the next week to yourself."

"But, the visions..." started Tanaya. She didn't know what should come after those words.

"Ancient texts on psychology say that dreams are not visions. They are not portents of things to come. They are not mirrors of the soul. Dreams are merely the brain's way of keeping itself in check. While we are awake, we are receiving mass quantities of stimulus. There is plenty to keep our brains occupied. When a person sleeps, all stimulus is removed. The brain gets bored and says to itself, 'I'll just make shit up in order to keep working until I get some other action.' That's all, Tanaya." Jarana laid a friendly hand on the shaken Queen Consort's shoulder.

"Now, Highness, I suggest that you make yourself more presentable for the Dog and Pony Show about to take place," she giggled, aware of Tanaya's discomfort with the trappings of court.

"If you say so, Jarana. Thanks for the talk," said Tanaya, handing a small pouch of gold to the battlemage. "Go tell Nazaretta to have the squad assembled in her room in forty-five minutes. No armor, casual dress only. Wait until all the pomp and circumstance is over, then vanish into the city. Use this gold to get a nondescript, out of the way building to use as our new base, preferably close to a tavern. We'll need to distance ourselves from the Guard. Once that is done, send a courier, not one of you, to me in the castle with your whereabouts."

"Yes, ma'am," answered Jarana. "By your leave, Highness?"

Tanaya stood and hugged her.