The Hindmost {Markson}

Chapter 42

(*Author's POV)

The courage he had was constantly leaving then returning to him like juggling solid metal spheres. Things were so much more difficult as he was now alone. There was no Jiho beside him cheering him on telling him he could do it. Not even an ounce of support as he went inside the building and back up to his apartment.

As much as he wanted to panic he was too drawn into his mind to pay much attention to his surroundings. And even as he stood in front of the door to his place he seemed to be more hesitant than anything. There was nothing brave about this; it just he was bracing so much he looked to be okay.

He had played so many scenarios in his mind that it almost felt like he could be prepared for anything. From the worst to the best but what was sad was that the best reaction would still be the worst for him. Like he was surrendering to a battle he knew he was only going to lose to.

Wondering if he should use his key or knock as though this place was no longer his all of a sudden. Taking a deep breath through his nose he knocked; he quickly regretted it though. The sounds of footsteps and movement inside were heard almost immediately after.

That's when he tensed, that's when his lungs couldn't seem to fill up all the way properly. Biting his lower lips harshly as the door opened revealing Jackson on the other side.

"Hey, you're back." Jackson smiled as he went back in to let Mark follow.

But as Mark entered fully Jackson turned around to face him slowly backing up to the kitchen counter trying hard to be casual. In the moments of Mark taking off his jacket as it was brisk that morning both seemed to prepare to say something. So at the same time, they spoke up.

"So how-"

"Hey, Jackson-"

"Sorry, you go ahead." Jackson said gesturing to the older.

"No you go first it's fine." Mark tried to go on about it as though what he was about to say wasn't all that important.

"Well, I was just asking how things went." Jackson replied leaning on the counter behind him.

He wouldn't say it out loud but his actions were a lot more force to appear natural as his curiously had turned it to a nail-biting anticipation during Mark's time away with Jiho. He knew what the other had planned and despite wanting to know what happened he also wanted to 'subtle' about it.

"Oh uh, they went good." Mark nodded softly as the corners of his mouth were struggling to smile.

"Nothing unusual happened??" Jackson raised his brow unsure how to take Mark's response on whether that meant he said yes or no.

"....Nothing unexpected no." Mark looked at Jackson with a puzzled face.

This was not what Jackson was expecting. He thought for certain Jiho would've said something. Considering how confident he sounded last night. Had he lost his nerve after all? Was Mark just unsurprised by the confession? Or did he just not want to tell Jackson about it?

"Oh okay. What were you gonna say?" Jackson responded trying to look over the vague answer he got as it only left him with more questions.

"Uh well, I...kind of had a thought." Mark started swallowing a nervous lump in his throat.

"What about?" Jackson asked unafraid to pry in his current unanswered state.

"It's kind of difficult to say and really it can wait." Mark said breathing out looking to the side.

"Well, a heads up or any early information won't be a burden you know?" Jackson replied seeing how antsy Mark was looking.

"I know but I think I'll tell you a little later." Mark said as he gave into his nerves and began to walk away.