Title and chapter inspired by Same Old War by Our Last Night
Alice’s p.o.v
(A/N I own every lyrics for the band Haunted Horror Show and everything else that Alice writes. Picture of Alice, she’s not wearing that dress during this scene btw)
“Will they ever be happy with the person that I’ve become?
Will I ever be happy even if I don’t get their love?
Will I ever be enough?
Blood is thicker than water, so why do I drown in the sun?
I’ve done nothing wrong; I rose from the ashes,
So I have to win along.
I’m done begging for forgiveness,
I’m done looking for a way out of your mess.
I’m paralyzed by what’s inside of a heart that is filled with lies.
A reject from the alley of the southeast side,
The punk that hides behind glass eyes,
I’m the one who can’t fall asleep at night because it’s painful to think about my disguises.
We’re just shadows on the wall that will all soon fall like ashes.
I’m done begging for forgiveness,
I’m done looking for a way out of your mess.
I’m paralyzed by what’s inside of a heart that is filled with lies.
Scars on skin that hasn’t gone deeper than the surface,
Eyes that seek envy all the things you never gave to me
I’m paralyzed by what’s inside of a heart that is filled with lies.”
I looked at the words that I typed into the notes sections of my phone early this morning while Ryan was still asleep. Could you tell I was a bit nervous?
Yea, more like shitting my pants.
I tried not to show how scared I actually was because I didn’t want Ryan to worry about me. We got up from bed around 10:50 and get ready for this day. My parents made dinner reservations from this place called Fleming’s Steakhouse.
From what Google showed me it was a pretty fancy. It was just them showing off in front of me and Ryan. I could give two shits about that place I would must rather go eat stir fray. I hated when they would do that, it was more than likely my father’s idea.
Is it too late for us to leave?
We were already outside of the restaurant but we stayed inside for a minute because it was raining a lot today. The car was off and Ryan was looking out of the window and stared at the water droplets. I looked onto my phone then shut it down and shoved in into my bag that on the on car floor.
Once my phone was out of my hand, I gazed off at Ryan’s direction and began to admire how handsome he looks. I encouraged him to wear his suit and he actually said that he would. He put on is black shirt, black tie and the black jacket that came with the suit.
But he didn’t wear the dress pants so he put on his black skinny jeans and black Vans. I really didn’t care because my boyfriend was sexy with and without clothing ;). I do love the Ryan that wears Black Craft Cult but it’s nice seeing Ryan all dressed up.
