letters to her ➳ l.h

letter one ➳

letter one ;

dear hayley, 

i love you. i remember you on the first day of tenth grade. you were wearing a smiley face shirt. your shirt didn't match your face, though. you were sad. you smiled to a group of girls but your smile didn't reach your eyes. it was fake. i could see the pain behind your smile. something was wrong. the way you acted was different than before. you were always so energetic. i remember hearing from someone that you had been through a lot. i had no idea what happened though. i was way too shy to go up and talk to you. i remember hearing your music blast through your headphones. you had an amazing taste in music. every time i walked by you, i would hear an all time low song or something coming from your headphones. i remember you always staying away from the big crowds. i wonder if you ever noticed me like i noticed you. i wonder if you ever took the time to look at what i was wearing like i did to you. i even remember how you parted your hair. everything about you fascinated me. i saw no flaws in you. i remember when you were picked on. i remember watching you run to the bathroom with tears streaming down your face. i wanted to talk to you. trust me, i did. i wanted to know what was going on. i wanted so badly to have you in my arms. i remember how smart you were. i remember you were so fascinated with books and music. you weren't like everyone else, hayley, you were unique. i remember finding your social media pages. i had tears streaming down my face when i saw that you were done. that you didn't want to live anymore. you were so oblivious. so oblivious. you had no idea how many people cared about you and loved you. you had no idea how many lives you affected. i was going through a very hard time in my life but you helped me without even realizing it. you were the reason why so many people decided to keep living. i remember you at lunch and never eating the food that sat before you. i remember almost walking up to you to tell you that you were not fat. you were far from fat. i honestly had no idea what you saw wrong in yourself. i loved everything about you. i wanted to take you in front of a mirror and ask you what you saw wrong in yourself. i wanted to show you that i saw a beautiful individual. i saw somebody worth it. you were not a lost cause hayley. you were fucking worth it. i really truly love you. never forget the quote, "to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. this is to have succeeded." you made me life better. i can't thank you enough for that, hayley. 

love,

luke hemmings xx