Heart [ON HOLD]

Chapter 20: Unforgivable

The night sinks into my bones,
The wind blows through me,
As I stand in a graveyard
Of our memories
I’m haunted by a ghost
That only I can see.
- Christy Ann Martine

Lilith stared at the little headstone at her feet, black hood pulled up over her red locks like a volcano pulsing out lava. The words glared back at her,

Unknown Boy
    Born: ?
    Died: 16th of Malli, 175 B.R. (Blood Reign)

There were similar gravestones scattered throughout the place. Some were no more than rough planks of wood. Others were fine carven stone. They were commoners and royals respectively, but this was the oldest. They'd all died at different times, ages, for different reasons, but their corpses all had one thing in common: missing hearts. There were hundreds here that stretched on forever in either direction, in no particular order or organization, except for this one. This one stood apart from the rest. This was the first.

The Queen knelt before the stone and bowed her head, ice blue eyes glowing under the shadow of her hood. She put a hand to her heart, then her lips, touched her fingertips to the stone and closed her eyes.

“Please. Accept my gift,” she breathed. “Rest. Stay no more forever.”

Lilith pulled a bloodrose from her cloak and set it atop the grave. Already the petals were starting to bleach as blood trickled from it's severed stem.

“I know you will never forgive me,” she breathed, voice quavering, “but I am...sorry. So, so sorry. I didn't mean to. They made me do it and I didn't know it was yours until- until-,” Lilith closed her eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

All at once her heart stabbed at her and she shrieked. She clutched at her chest and her face screwed up in agony. She panted, waiting for the pain to pass as it always did, but this time it kept pulsing.

“Please,” she gasped. “Please, it wasn't my fault. I tried to help you and then- ah!”

She doubled over on her knees, fingernails digging into the earth. She could feel the sweat soaking the back of her dress, plastering her hair to her face.

“You deserved better. I would have given you better-,”

Lilith groaned through gritted teeth.

“They tricked me. They didn't tell me it was yours. It was a tradition- before the coronation you always have to eat one- a pure heart. Ah!”

Hot tears poured down her face that burned her cheeks like acid.

“When will you leave me be?” she shrieked. “Why won't you let me move on? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just make it stop! Let it stop! I can't- I can't!”

Her whole body trembled. Lilith fell backwards and scrambled away, heart still stabbing at her. She bolted out of the graveyard, back to the castle. The distance dulled the pain by a fraction, but not by enough. Her nails scraped the stone wall, fighting for a grip while her legs sagged beneath her. The pain ricocheted through her skull and ripped at her chest like an animal clawing its way out from the inside and every muscle in her body quivered. She fought for every breath, willing the pain to subside and failing.

The girl, Cora, she had been betrayed so completely, and yet still she chose to save the Wolf. Why? How could she forgive someone who had wronged her so horribly? She should hate him. That was how it all worked. The monsters of the world, they were unforgivable.

“Your Majesty.”

Lilith stiffened and forced herself to stand and turn around. There were two of them - a Nine and a noble. The former was a woman, blonde and tawny skinned, and the later was black haired man dressed in blue with calculating eyes.

“So it is true,” he murmured. “The Queen weakens.”

Lilith bared her teeth.

“You challenge me?”

The noble chuckled.

“I wouldn’t dare dream such a thing, Your Majesty. But another man might."

“Is that a threat?”

“Merely a word of caution.” But she didn’t miss his fingers brushing the blade at his hip in passing, ghosting over temptation like a lingering gaze. “You’re missing your guard dog, Majesty.”

Lilith narrowed her eyes, scraping her nails in a very deliberate pattern against the stone.

“If you cannot control your pets,” he hissed, stepping closer, “can you control the throne?”

She made three more quick slashes and all at once the scratches in the stone glowed orange.

Bone. Break. All.

The resounding crack was like the split of a frozen lake. The noble crumpled, stark white bone erupting from the skin at every angle, a half second of shock carved into his mangled features. His jaw, his skull, every tooth - they were all shattered.

The Nine gave no reaction.

“Well?”

She bowed her head and struck a fist over her heart.

“I thank my Queen for removing the filth from this land. My loyalty lies always with your crown.”

“Good, good,” Lilith murmured. “Clean this up, please. I have no further need of your services.”

“Of course, my Queen.”

Lilith stalked away as steadily as she could, heart still stabbing. She could feel the Nine’s eyes on her as she walked away, wary in the way one was when looking at a wild animal, a monster. It was the way they all looked at her, at the kind of woman who ate so many hearts she could no longer remember them all, at the kind of woman who would snap every bone in a body without flinching. It made her invincible. Powerful.

Unforgivable.