You're Crazy

Chapter 8

After Siva kindly dropped me off back at my flat, I had crawled into bed, exhausted but at the same time too excited to sleep. I knew that Nathan wasn't my boyfriend. But I was more sure than ever, that that was what I wanted him to be. Don't get me wrong I wasn't desperate for a boyfriend - I was more the sort of girl who liked to think she could get by without one. It was more Nathan I was desperate for. I'd had two boyfriends before; neither had lasted long.

One I had when I was eleven. We were far to young to really understand what was going on and our sloppy baby kisses and hand holding was merely an imitation of what we saw our parents doing.

Then when I turned fifteen, a boy from school, Louis, asked me out on a date. I had been shocked. My heart really wasn’t in it when it came to school, I skived probably more days than I attended having only a few friends, so I was surprised when I realised some boy liked me. I didn’t fancy him remotely but I was flattered beyond words and during the short months we spent together, I started to like him in a way I didn't think I could. We got very serious for a couple of teenagers. The only trouble was that between my dream of songwriting and Louis, there was never any competition. So although it was a big decision to leave, it was an easy one, in that I knew I couldn’t stay in France just for him. He wasn’t nearly enough.  

However, lying in bed on the night of my seventeenth birthday with both relationships behind me I realised that neither of them, not even Louis, made me feel like I do whenever I am with Nathan. And I’ve not even known him very long. 

Realising sleep was an unrealistic goal when my head was so full of thoughts, I grabbed my ipod and listened to The Wanted's album that I'd downloaded the other day. All part of my 'research' of course. 

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 It was a couple of days after my birthday and I hadn’t seen Nathan since, as The Wanted had been busy with interviews and photo shoots. Ceallach had sat with me last night as I was glued to my new laptop, watching the music videos for their songs. I think in truth, Ceallach was just a little smug that he had introduced me to Nathan. Both he and Charlie had explained to me how to use it the Internet and I was slowly beginning to regret ever having got into it, it was addictive. 

Tonight though, Ceallach wasted no time in setting me up a twitter account. I leaned over his shoulder to see what he was doing. 

Ev Morel @CeallachIsAFittay . 

“Seriously?” I smacked his shoulder playfully while Charlie just laughed helpfully at my side. “Change it!” I ordered, pointing my finger at him threateningly. He tried to bite it before agreeing.

Ev Morel @NathanIsMyBoyfr

He didn’t even get to finish typing that one before I seized the laptop from him. He had to pout and  beg before I finally gave it back to him. 

“What about this one?” Cel asked seriously, holding the screen up to show me. 

Ev Morel @EvSaysTiens [A/N: this is my actual twitter just fyi] 

Chuckling, I had to hand it to Ceallach - that was quite cute. It was also sweet that he'd picked up the way I said tiens a lot around my family - something I'd got from my mother. 

Sasha disturbed me from my reverie. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”  I jumped to  my feet instantly, panic stricken, and hurried past her. 

“Yeah! I’m sorry - I’ll be quick!” I called back to her as I skidded into the bathroom. 

I changed, having a silent fit half way through when I couldn't decide what to wear - what problems I had! I had arranged to meet with Nathan again tonight but had volunteered to choose something for us to do this time. I sort of regretted that now as I had absolutely no idea where to go. I barely knew him, how was I to know what he liked to do? I was also slightly dubious about  if it was a date. When he'd asked he said 'hang out'. What did that mean? Eventually I changed into a blouse and jeans, knowing at least I'd feel comfortable in them.