"Are you excited for America?" Donghyuk asks me and I stare him.
"No? I mean I'm just going to stay in the hospital," I reply back he notices my nervousness,
"Listen, I think everything will be fine. Besides the doctors might really cure you there" he comforts me but I doubt they would. They've switched me to so many hospitals, but none of them cured me except for the last hospital I went to, I was finally cured until it came back.
"What again are you sick again for?" Donghyuk asks me, but i know he knows, he always seem to ask that question when he wants me to talk more about how I feel.
"I have this rare chronic disease where I can't experience certain things that makes my heart hurt. Like being too happy, sad, or angry. Something like that, I'm limited from feeling emotions." I explain to him as I pack my bags.
"So why can't you tell Jinhwan that? Instead of making Junhoe your fake boyfriend? And why are you packing so early? You have like two weeks left?" Donghyuk asks as he helps me fold.
I stop folding my clothes, "because I'm afraid I might die when I'm with him, my heart is weak, dong, I can't tell him I might die for being with him."
"Wait, I know he knew you were sick, but he doesn't know what your sick for?" Donghyuk asks me, I never told Jinhwan what my sickness really was, I only told him I was sick and never let him find out about it. There were times he almost found out, but I kept blocking him out of it.
I shake my head and Donghyuk sighs. I finish packing by the help of Donghyuk and the doorbell rings. I look through the window and see Jinhwan by the door.
"Donghyuk, tell him to go away," I command my bestfriend and he sighs.
He opens the door and goes out, "She's doesn't wanna talk with you man." He tells Jinhwan while I eavesdrop.
"I have to see her," Jinhwan says. A week has passed since I broke up with him, & a lot has changed. He looks miserable, of course he would. Jinhwan looks like he hasn't slept a wink & this is all because of me.
I open the door to get in between their conversation, it quiets down, and jinhwan stares at me.
"Haneul, can't you think about us again? You and Junhoe, I know that's not real. Please, I miss you," he pleads with me and I immediately shut him down.
"Not real? You know what wasn't real, us. Stop coming back here, I don't want to see you" I harshly say, I grab donghyuk and go back inside the house shutting the door on Jinhwans face.
"That was a bit harsh, wasn't it?" Donghyuk says after a minute of silence. "You acted like a real bitch. He doesn't deserve what your doing to him." Donghyuk speaks his mind and I know that he was right, but I can't be with him.
I go back to the window and see that Jinhwan is still there waiting. Why is he making this so hard? My eyes tear up and I just want to scream. I want to cry. I want to tell him. I want to live.
"Just tell him the truth about you going to America, Haneul, it isn't that hard to do that". Donghyuk calmly tells me, a pain shoots through my heart making me lose my breathe. I clutch onto my chest, trying to breathe properly.
"Are you okay? Do you need your medicine?" He worriedly asks me and runs to my room grabbing my medicine box.
"No, I'm fine." I shut him down and I try to breathe properly. I hadn't fully told Donghyuk my full situation. Me going to America is the last shot, if I'm not cured there, I'll die. My heart is becoming weaker and I feel like I really might die. It wasn't this bad until now.
Donghyuk quietly watches me as I sit down to the nearest chair. I'm still clutching on to my chest with my eyes watery.
"You aren't telling me something."
