You Leave Me Breathless

Let Me Eat My Damn Cereal!

The next morning was cold. I woke up to an empty bed with just me in it. Danny must had left. Just like the other five times we’ve had sex. I’m use to it now. I got on my feet to search for my boxers and t-shirt to slide back on. Jesus, my body hurts like hell. Body, as in my ass hurts. He never had to be so rough on me. I went up in the front room.

When I walk in there, all eyes locked on me. James, Sam, and Cameron. Well this isn’t good. I ignored them and made my way over to the fridge. I grab the milk to have a bowl of cereal. While I sat down at the table things got weird. Sam and Cameron left the bus. James sat across from me. Ignore him Ben and enjoy your Frosted fucking Flakes. I ate a spoonful.

“You know what we’re going to talk about, right?” He tap his fingers to some beat with his finger tips. I know what we are going to talk about. I’m tired of him and his mouth. Him in my life as if it’s his. I shove another mouthful of cereal in my empty mouth. He slam his fist on the table which startled me. 

“Ben?!” I slam my fist down as well. Mocking him like a child.

“James?!” . Can I just eat? Ask all this later. I stared at him. I continue to eat. The spoon was inches from my lips until:

“Looks like you got the hang of shoving shit in your mouth, hm?” He replied. Ignore him. I ate  another spoonful. He hit the top of my hand, making the spoon drop into the bowl. The milk splash everywhere. What. The. Hell.

“Alright,” I sat up and fold my arms across my chest. “ you got my attention now. What the fuck is it that you want from me?” 

“I told you not to have sex with him. You didn’t listen. You never do.” I rolled my eyes at him and rest my best lazily in the chair.

“You don’t rule me. Plus, I only had sex with him once. You said he’s no go in bed. He showed me wrong “’If you ask me’” I mocked him from the time he lectured me about him and Danny’s being together. 

“Ben, listen-”

“No! You listen! What can’t you just embrace the fact that I’m in love with someone? Be happy for me! Give me support and not this!” He’s irritating. I remember the time when I sat there in the room with him the day I had to break up with Matty. He told me: Matty wasn’t the one for you. Swear. The next one is the ONE. I can see it already. And he or she would love you to death.

Or was what he said was nothing but a lie. I got up to pour the waste of soggy cereal in the sink. He yell at me from the table.

“It’s because It’s Danny! Out of all people to fall for, you pick him? He’s nothing but another Matty. Why can’t you see this? You think he loves you but you’re falling in the deepest abyss of his ass crack. Check the chart. He doesn’t care for you.”  I laugh at his anger. Chart. There is no chart.

“He threw it away, ‘member?” I lean against the fridge and smirked at him. He’s so stupid. Cam told me he threw it out.  Danny’s number is at zero by now. I haven’t seen him with a girl in a while after out night.

“Sam still keeps it in his bunk. And where do you think he goes? You know, in the morning. You wake up to a cold bed.”

“James stop it..” I tried to stop him for poisoning my mind with his words. He kept talking.

“ You don’t see him here. Nor with none of the other band’s buses. You’re the blind one. He smells like perfume when he comes back. Put the pieces together Ben.” For some reason my heart sank. What if he is- No! He wouldn’t do that to me.

Specking of the whore, Danny open the bus door. The wind blew the air in. Flowers. The smell of purfume stain him. He lock eyes with James. James shock his head at him and walk off. He rub my shoulders before disappearing into the bedroom isle. Danny press up on me. Hard, as usual. He kiss my lips, slipping his tongue in. I twist my tongue with his. 

“Mm. I was thinking. We should go out to eat tonight. My treat?” He kiss the side of my neck. I couldn’t help but to blush.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Danny has this thing where he likes to take people out for dinner . Treat someone right on a date. Yet he can never ask someone out. We’re not a thing. We’re just, um. I have no clue right now. All I care about is that he keep his dick in his pants at all time except for when he is around me. He told me to go get ready. I went in the bathroom. I heard James ask if he could talk to Danny. Danny said sure.  After that I heard their conversations fade off. 

-------

It was nice. He took me out to Red Lobster. Nothing to big nor fancy. We ate, laugh, and had a good time. He’s a gentleman if you ask me. He paid, held my arm as we walk in the place. He have nice manners-and what are you saying Ben. You sound like a girl. I lean on him while we was on our way back to the bus. I was late. 11:30 late.

He push me against the bus and look me in the eyes. Lets me quickly say, they look beautiful. He frown a little.

“Ben, I can’t explain this in words. But here goes. I’ll try. I have some type of feels for you. And it’s no friendship between us. Nor rudely a fuck buddy.” This got awkward for me. I’ve never seen him blush. A light shade of red paint his cheeks.

“Mr. Worsnop? Are you crushing on me?” I joke with him. He laugh and kiss me on the cheek. 

“Yep, you ruined it mate. I was about to tell you I liked you like you but you had to open your mouth. So, I’m not going to tell you.” He flick his finger on my forehead before climbing back on the bus. I yelled to him.

“You just did. Asshole.” I heard Danny say hi to James. I stood outside. Tonight was perfect. This is really happening. James can go hop off. I ruffled my fingers in my hair. I stop when I heard the most annoying voice known to man. 

“Specking of asshole. I bet you miss me boning you at night.” Matty flicked with his lighter. Devilish grin with the same careless attitude. Well..I was having a good time. My buzz left when I saw his face.

“Yeah, like I miss that small shit. Get the fuck out of here. What do you want?” He hand me a cigarette. I never say no to one. I snatch it out his hand. He lit it for me.

“I just wanted to see my baby.” His finger trail straight down to my jeans fly. “ And small? Danny’s isn’t all that in a 50 cent bag of generic chips.” I hate him so much, but the touch, his touch felt good. He grab me by a handful. I moan and beg for more. I felt the lips of another man. Matty kiss me. I then thought what I was doing. I push him away. What ARE you doing?

“ Don’t push away Benjamin. Like you don’t miss this. Love is beautiful, Lust is hot.” We both know why I always run back to him. The lust. The powerful lust drive.  Nothing but sex we both wanted. Like Danny said. Fuck buddies. Danny open the window. Matty jump away, acting like he didn’t do anything. 

“Yo! Ben, get your ass on this bus. I have a problem.”

“Have James or Sam fix it.” I said. Death staring Matt in the eyes. 

“Are you sure? You want me to fuck one of them? Come on Ben. This boner is killing me.” He look around and finally saw the other guy standing in front of me. “Oh. Sup Matty, my man. Now Ben. Bring it,.” He close the window. I open the door to the bus. I refuse to look back to the sex animal behind me.

“Keep running. Just remember, I’m a phone call way..” Wha