You Leave Me Breathless

A Lesson Or Two.

I felt like I was dying. Dying in my own stench, my tears, and  anger. Is it possible to be so upset and angry, you lock yourself away from the outside world. Outside world, as in my own bunk. I haven’t left it for 2 days straight. No one bothered me. Matty tried to call me but he never got through cause I would just throw my phone at the wall. Sam gave me that letter. Should I believe it? It explains a lot on why James has been creeping on us. But then it does not explain the fast fuckings Danny has done 2 hours after I slap him. 

I sat in my bed, thinking about all this. What the fucking is going on? The pass few days, I’ve been so depress, I’ve been pissing  in bottles. I heard Danny. Getting drunk every minute. Drowning his sadness in alcohol. I need to talk to someone. I finally hope out my bunk and almost fell on my face. Legs felt week. I haven’t eaten either. I come to the front room to only find Sam. Had a giant box of pizza to himself. He gave me a weak smile. I stood there and stared at him. Tired, lost, depress. He dug in the box to hand me a slice. I didn’t hesitate to take it. I took a bit of it, plopping next to him.

“How are you?” He asked. I nodded in reply. He pat my head.

“Well at least you’re out your bunk mister!” I frown down, at the floor. 

“Sam, you’re quite but I know you know something I don’t.” He hand me another slice, god. I haven’t ate in awhile. He close the box so he could turn and face me.

“Yes, I do indeed. But I’ve tried my best to say out of this. Don’t get upset okay?” He said. We was the only ones on the bus. Hm.

“No promises…” He chuckled then took a deep breath. By that, I already know this is going to be long and painful for my heart. Man up.

“Well. I know how much you love Danny. You’ve notice how James would snoop in and out on you. Tying to ease in your life. James been behind it cause Danny and him used to date themselves.” 

Lost a corner of my heart already. Why don’t anyone tell me shit?

“James was head over the hills for him. Danny would have sex with him and love him so. One day when tour started back up, Danny said that he needed a break. James have this thing when he gets jealous at everyone that talks to him. Danny literally went to a restaurant and the girl serving them was making small flirt talk with him. James nearly ripped her head off. When he broke up with him, he wanted to set rules: Not to fall for another guys. Danny was pissed. 

“He talked me and Cam to have sex with him to anger James the first week. Ignore that part, it was a quick non sense fuck. But listen to me, Danny fell for you. Do you hear me? Danny fell for YOU! You didn’t fall for him. Danny already had his eyes on you. But he had to follow the rules by James. Because he couldn’t have you, he would released all his frustration on cheap whores and heavy drinking. He would cry at night to me. Then I told him then; Fuck James rules! He did. He tried to make it seem like you fallen in love with him and not him. It reversed and wasn’t part of the rules.

“ James caught him the next day. He start back up with whores the day after you gave him head. He told me about the hand job he gave you the next day. James doesn’t know about that one. James wanted Danny so bad, he got Matty to get in this shit.” What the fuck…What the fuck? James is sick as hell. Why would he do that? After I told him how much Matty has hurt me, he brings him back in my life? Sam took another breath. Shit! It’s not over.

“When Matty got involved, he told Danny that you was “cheating” on him. Danny didn’t care So that’s where the fuck chart came back from. Cameron actually had it to tamper. When you slap him, and started to cry, he felt bad. He knew that James would never stop until he got away from you. He’s anger build up and he went back to girls. He drank heavy at the fact you will never be his. So it’s James bitch ass fault.”