chandler riggs / carl grimes imagines

Honor (Carl)

(I'm writing this in dedication of the show from Sunday night, I'm not continuing this book after this. lowercase intended)
psa : some things are exactly rolling with the episode, other parts are added bc it's an imagine. enjoy.
your pov :

he never told me, he never told anyone. the brown haired boys revealed his walker bite located on the side of his stomach. everyone was in shock. as i tried to find words to say, rick spoke his name.

carl explained the situation about saving siddiq and how he got bit. he kept saying he was okay. i was still speechless. i got up from sitting beside him and walked over to daryl and asked if could hold judith. he obliged, "are you okay?"

as i shifted my body to adjust with judith on my hip, i replied, "my boyfriend is going to die. i wondered why he was acting so strange but i thought this would be why."

daryl took judith back as michonne approaches the small circle of me, rosita, daryl, and judith. she looked at me, "he's asking for you."

i sighed. i wanted to avoid the sappy goodbye like in the movies. i walked back over to stetson-wearing boy, and sat by his side. he weakly moved his hand onto mine and looked at me.

"i know you're mad that i didn't tell you, and i know you're going to blame yourself. but it's not your fault."

i held back the tears that wanted to roll down my cheeks, "i should've went with you. this wouldn't of hap-", he cut me off, "you're blaming yourself." he chuckled.

soon after, we moved him so he could be a bit more comfortable. everyone was waiting for onslaught to stop so they could head back to the hilltop. rick told michonne to take judith and i back, but we both refused. daryl said he'd protect judith, and told carl that he's the reason why everyone has lived and how we got so far since atlanta.

he made his goodbye to his little sister then made eye contact with his dad, and weakly motioned towards me. rick understood the message.

michonne and rick walked everyone out, leaving carl and i alone to talk about everything. i kneeled by his side, and refrained myself from crying.

"you remember back at the prison, when we stayed in the tower?" he slowly spoke. i nodded my head as he continued, "we shared our first kiss there, and in that moment i knew i needed to protect you. we were young and didn't know what love was, but we unintentionally found it in each other."

i couldn't help but let multiple tears slip down my cheek, "what am i supposed to do now?"

"you fight, for me." he squeezed my hand, "look at me," we shifted our focus into each other, "i love you so much. thank you for every happy memory we've shared. you are my first and last love, and i know i'm your first but don't make me your last."

he continued, "i know it'll be hard to move past what's happening but don't let that restrain you from being happy."

as we heard footsteps approach, i spoke softly, "i love you so much," i placed a kiss on his forehead.

rick's eyes were bleeding red with tears, as were michonne's. "we need to get him out of here." rick choked up as he spoke.

after carl tells Michonne she was his best friend, and implores her not to carry this sadness with her, he tells his dad to keep a grip on his humanity, and explains that everything could be like before- with the prison and woodbury.

we take him to, what's left of gabriel's church as the ashes from other houses were burning, michonne looks at me, "he loves you, dearly."

"i know, i just wish this wouldn't be the end." i sniffled. she puts her arm around my shoulder, "he's strong, and he'll always be with us."

as we sit beside him in his final moments rick tells him, "it was all for you, right from the start. back in atlanta, the farm. everything i did, it was for you ... it still is. it's gonna be." rick apologies for not protecting his son, but carl says that rick's only job was to love him.

as i notice carl reach down for his gun, "no," was all i said. michonne started to speak but carl finished for her, "it should be a loved one but none of you can. so it's my job."

as tears formed in everyone's eyes, we said our last goodbyes. carl looked at me once more, "i love you, please be happy." i told him i loved him, and thanked him for what he's taught me. i kissed his soft lips one last time.

the three of us walk out of the church, and watch the daybreak, as we hear a gunshot coming from the top of the church.

tears were streaming, and we all were sobbing. i turned to rick and hugged him as i cried in his chest.

and with that, he was gone.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

well everyone. it's over. he's actually gone, and so is this book. this chapter was to honor chandler's work in the show, and to complete this story. yes, it followed the scene and storyline of the episode last night. i hope everyone has enjoyed this.

goodbye,
ashley.