Love, J x

Me;

Todays blog is me;

I would love to say I'm awesome and perfect but no one is. I have this thing where no matter whats going on in my life i like to make people think that I'm happy and positive. Almost everyone will tell you I'm always smiling. It doesn't mean I'm a mess every night when I'm alone in my bedroom.

You could be the most horrible person towards me and i would still want to make sure your ok. Which i hate myself for at points. Its just who i am. I have a big heart.

Ive never hit anyone in my life. I never know if thats a good thing or not as some people do deserve a slap sometimes. Im guess that makes me the good girl. I was never the good girl at school. I was the one that got herself into trouble a lot. I mean i bunked my first ever RE lesson and things just slipped from there. I wasnt to bad until i got my first ever boyfriend in year 9. Then i never turned up, got myself onto report and almost got kicked out of school. Half the time it wasn't even my fault but i wasn't the smartest of kids so took the blame a lot for friend. Stupid i know.

I am 22 years young! Yep still a baby in ways. I act like I'm 40 though. Go out with older men that i shouldn't, stay in the weekends I'm not working. I don't hang around with people that get themselves into trouble or anyone that does drugs.

I have this thing about changing my hair colour. I mean its every-time i break up with someone i change my hair. Right now I'm blonde, my hair falls midway down my back and its wavy. Im to lazy to always straighten or curl it.

I love make up! I spent a year of my life at college doing hair and beauty. At the time i only done it because i wasn't ready to be away from my best friend from school and its what she wanted to do. I learnt a lot but i was never into it that much. In fact even now when i put make up on i only wear mascara and eye liner. I can leave the house without it. In fact ive gone out drinking without make up. I put it on mainly for work but i never put make up on if its a Sunday. Day of rest so why should i have to look 'good' everyday!

Im not silly skinny. Im actually a size 16. There not scared to put it out there. I have awesome curves. Im not huge but not perfect. I like that though. Im a big beautiful women who isn't scared to show who she is. 

I have blue eyes. Well i think they are blue. Depends on my mood. Sometimes blue, sometimes green and even sometimes grey. Im not sure what colour they go when im angry. All i see is red but im pretty sure my eyes dont turn red haha.

Dont give me hate but i dont think i believe in god. I mean it is dog spelt backwards. As well as how do you believe it something like that? I mean i understand it all. I actually went to a Catholic school so i know more then most but yeah. Not sure on that one.

I have 3 tattoos and my ears are pierced. 2 of my tattoos have relations to my exs so here is a lesson to you guys out there, just dont do it. I know at the time it feels like a good idea but its not. I have a '1' on my leg right next to my fairy. My ex used to play in goal for a football team each week. He played with the number 1 on his shirt. How silly of me. That was my first tattoo though. My second is for something really personal that happened to me. Its a heart with a forever sign going though it as well as birds flying away. So love, forever and freedom. I will explain that one a little more another time. The last one is 'twisted' with a half moon on top. My ex boyfriends nickname was twister. You can guess the rest. I like that one though. It reminds me we are all a little messed up and that its ok.

You will get to know me the more i write i guess. So here is my blog about me. Remember guys, love yourself. Its hard but if you don't love yourself who will. Im going to sign this from 'J'. I don't mind writing my life down but unsure about giving out my name. So bye for now all.

J x