Networked ➳ z.m [au]

chapter 4

"What's wrong? You've been moping around all day," Paige asks me as I slump to sit down at the lunch table across from Niall, purposely avoiding eye contact with Zayn's table.

"Nothing." I pick up a tater tot and stick it in my mouth.

Niall and Paige exchange looks before looking back at me.

"You can't fool me, Claire, we're best friends and I know something's wrong. It has to do with Zayn, doesn't it?" She looks behind her to glance at Zayn and Louis laughing.

Something is always funny at their table, but it's not like i'm dying to know.

Okay, maybe I am.

"Did his jerkish friends do anything to you?" she scoffs turning back to face me as she rolls her eyes.

"No," I mumble.

"Wait a second, what do you mean jerkish friends? They are my friends too," Niall pouts.

"I'm sorry babe, just don't like them." she shrugs.

"They're actually nice lads if you get a chance to hang with them," he starts but she gives him a warning look, "I'm totally kidding. They're horrible people."

Paige smiles and kisses Niall on the cheek before turning back to me.

"Anyways, what happened? I won't tell anyone and you know this," she crosses her heart with her index finger like we always did when we made promises since eighth grade.

"Fine," I give in, "he sort of, was going to kiss me..."

"Oh my god, that's great!" Paige beams until I finish.

"but then he stopped, so I kind of got a little upset."

"Damn it, what did you do?"

"I just went inside without saying goodbye or anything, it was awful." I put my head in my hands and shake my head, replaying last night's events.

I feel Paige's hand on my wrist.

"Aw, it's okay Claire, maybe he just wasn't ready," she tells me and I try my hardest not to cry again.

"Yeah, Zayn's a nice guy. He wouldn't just go in to kiss someone if he didn't have any feelings for them," Niall agrees as he munches on a carrot.

"I hope not," I say in my hands.

-

"I'll call you!" Paige yells out Niall's red convertible as he quickly drives off past the speed limit like he always does when they drop me off at home after school.

I walk down the pathway to my house, clutching the backpack strap on my shoulder.

"Claire," I hear Zayn's voice, but I pretend I don't and keep walking until I reach the first step of my front porch.

"Claire, could we just talk for a second? Please?" he sighs and I feel bad so I turn around to look at him.

He is leaning against the metal gate that separates our properties, looking hotter than ever like always. His hair is perfectly styled upwards and he is wearing a sleeveless denim jean jacket. I hadn't noticed what he had been wearing today because I was trying my best to avoid him.

I should have known it wouldn't work out long since we're neighbors.

"Yes, Zayn?"

"I-I'm sorry about yesterday, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you at all."

"Then why would you do it?"

He takes a deep breath and combs a hand through his hair before answering.

"It's...it's complicated," he sighs.

"Complicated?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Yes...i'm sorry, please understand." he nearly pleads and I just nod, not understanding how something as simple as kissing someone can be complicated.

Then again, I remembered M and how I had developed some feelings for him and Zayn at the same time, which was complicated. One, because there was no way I would be able to meet M in real life if he'd never let me or if he was too afraid to show me the real him. And two, because having feelings for two people isn't something that can be easily balanced.

"I get it." I give Zayn a small smile and he returns it.

"Thank you,"

-

cupcakeswirl12: hey M...

artsyM: hey C

cupcakeswirl12: why weren't you answering yesterday? was something wrong? :/

artsyM: i'm sorry, I just had to meet a friend somewhere. What have you been up to?

cucakeswirl12: oh just a guy I liked sort of rejected me, nothing big

artsyM: what? How is that nothing big? he is incredibly insane to reject someone like you.

cupcakeswirl12: thank you, M :), you know you really know how to make me feel better.

artsyM: i'm glad I do.

artsyM: can I tell you something? I'm not sure how you would react though.

cucakeswirl12: go ahead, M. I'm all ears.

artsyM: I think i'm falling for you.

I feel my heart skip a beat, as stupid as that sounds because he is more than likely thousands of miles away from me and it would be impossible to meet him.

cupcakeswirl12: What do you mean?

artsyM: talking to you, brightens my day. I don't think there's anyone else in this world I would rather talk to than you. You always make me laugh and smile, I haven't felt that way in a while, you know? My life has pretty much been a blur until a little more than three months ago when you came into my life, yet I feel like I know you. And it feels like i've fallen...in love even. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same.

cupcakeswirl12: of course I feel the same way, M. I always have :)

artsyM: really? Wow, that went easier than I thought aha

cupcakeswirl12: I just wish we could meet in real life...

artsyM: me too, C. Me too.

cupcakeswirl12: so why can't we?

"Jason! Claire! Lights out!" my father's voice echoes throughout the house and I yawn, not realizing how sleepy I had been, as I type my last words to M.

cupcakeswirl12: i've got to go, i'll talk to you later about this?

artsyM: yeah, sure

cupcakeswirl12: goodnight M :)

artsyM: night, beautiful. Xx

Butterflies continue to flutter inside of my stomach as I lay down and prepare myself for a dreamful sleep, hopefully involving M, and other reasons that of my sudden happiness.

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