Styles Towers.

Hope you're wearing your best clothes.

Harry.

When you die, your brain tends to shut down starting from the top, claiming the most human characteristics first. Then, as the wave of blood-starved brain cells spreads out, the memory and language centre shorts out, until you're left with just a core.

They say it feels like you're floating— maybe falling— before your life sort of flashes before your eyes, but not like how movies portray it. It doesn't happen in chronological order.

You don't relive your beginning, middle and end like a novel— no.

I don't know how I can explain it, I don't think I have the capability of it. At first, Elise's face was branded into my thoughts; I heard her lovely voice calling my name— and then my whole universe was black. And it stayed black for quite a while. But it didn't bother me, I liked it. It was peaceful and rejuvenating.

There wasn't a pressure weighing down on me anymore, nothing devastating loomed over my head.

A sweet serenity.

My peacefulness ran out eventually, and I began to experience what quite possibly were the best moments of my life, for the second time.

The first was Elise's smile: glowing beautifully like a thousand songs, it brought light to my dead world. When I first saw her smile, my heart stopped, in the most wonderlust way possible. Her smile was radiant and captivating, of one like an angel. Now, her smile is like coming up for fresh air after drowning in a deadly tragedy, still beautifully captivating but more empowering. From there, all I observed were things I had enjoyed: blissful moments with my mother, sister, and Elise.

The times that seemed to brighten my vision and warm the feeling inside me weren't the ones I'd expect to feel the most from. When I associate myself with dying, I expected it to be like taking my last breath and slipping away into a state of peacefulness. What I didn't expect was to feel nothing yet everything all at once; pain, sorrow, happiness and regret.

I didn't expect to feel the most happiness at the moment I did, it was not when I proposed, or my wedding, or the many years ago, when I first met Elise. No. It was the moment Elise told me she was pregnant, and the moment I heard the first heartbeat. Those two moments filled my heart with overflowing joy, bringing light into a darkened world. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were the only two moments I was put on this planet to live for.

We all have a purpose in life. Despite being fortunate enough to experience and achieve extraordinary circumstances, I never felt uniquely complete. Sure, I had my moments where I thought I was satisfied, but it was never full. There was always something missing. Like a puzzle with a piece askew, or mismatched socks. As I fell deeper in love with Elise, that feeling faded. But, it never fully diminished until she told me that she was pregnant. A few months earlier, if she had told me this, perhaps I would have flipped out a little bit, lost my self-control. Like I said before, I never thought I would be the one to settle down and have a family, I never thought I was capable of it. I never wanted to make my fathers mistakes, I never wanted to bring a child into the world without knowing for sure that I could give he or she the best possible life. Never.

When I said my vows to Elise— I meant them with every inch of my soul. I truly wanted to grow old with her, to experience our own great love story, even if we didn't get to have it all. I just wanted to spend my life with her. You can strip me of everything: the fortune, the house and cars, materialistic things, my business, the art collection. Every. Single. Thing. The only thing I won't give up is her. It sounds so cliche, but she really is all I need in this life. When she tells me she loves me, I have no doubt that anything could take me from her...