My prince is a white horse

"Mom! Tell me how you and dad met!" the little girl demanded. Again. I told the tale everyday, but the kids didn't seem to get bored of it.

"Yes, tell us!" my son joined in.

They both had big, adorable puppy eyes, a trick they learned from their father. He betrayed me and taught the kids the technique. My husband, Eric always liked to play tricks. For him, our love story started with a trick. For me it started in a tower.

I lived in a castle, in the middle of a dark forest. As in every fairy tale, a monster guarded the princess. In my case it was a cow. Not just any kind of cow. It was the infamous fire spitting cow. She patrolled outside the tower every night, waiting for a knight to appear. Then, when the knight in shining armor came to my rescue, she proposed a duel. 

She did that every single time. The circumstances didn't matter. She fought the knights and she defeated all of them, burning their bodies until only their bones remained. You see, she was jealous. Jealous of my beauty, jealous of the huge number of good looking men who came to propose to me.

Maybe If a cute cow gentleman with sexy black spots appeared things would have turned out differently. But her prince never came, so she kept burning my knights as if they were bacon.

I lived like that for many long years until my savior made his grand entrance. He came to me running faster than the wind. He ran towards the high tower desperately, without slowing down even for a minute. He didn't bring a weapon. The only thing he brought was the blonde jerk shouting on his back, swinging his sword like it was a stick.

When they arrived at the tower, the jerk jumped off the beautiful white horse. He held my heart since the moment I first saw him. I mean the horse.

"Lady of the tower, be my wife!" the knight proposed. It wasn't too creative. "I will defeat the monstrous cow guarding your castle to prove my love."

"Go on!" I answered. Why waste the words? The cow defeated everyone regardless of their wealth or title.

So the cow, her name was Monica, and the knight decided to duel. But just as they started the fight, the knight suddenly stopped. He looked deep into Monica's eyes, than dropped on his knees and said:

"Spare me, you beautiful goddess, disguised as a mere cow, but still pretty, the prettiest cow on this Earth. Would you give this humble knight your beautiful hoof, so we can run off into the sunset together?"

Monica was so embarrassed that in her moment of nervousness she accidentally caughed out fire. Luckily, her knight didn't get hurt.

After that she answered the proposal. She gave it her all to be really sexy and convicing, and her answer really surprised everyone. I quote it.

It sounded like: Moooooooooooooooooooooo!

After a few minutes of delightful chat the man sat on Monica and they left, saying that they will come back after their honeymoon. 

"Mom, mom, I don't want to hear about the birth and upbringing of Minotaur." my daughter whined, so I continued the story about the princess and the white horse.

The beautiful animal approached me with a huge grin on his face. He was tall and proud even though he didn't really accomplish anything to be proud of. I asked him about the reason. He said:

"My beautiful princess, it's not true that I didn't accomplish anything. I fought for your hand. I just didn't fight with strength, I fought with my mind."

His words made me very curious. How did he manage to do that? What did he do exactly? I became so curious that I asked him.

"You see, my princess, I live in a faraway land, where we use a sacred object, called wifi rooter." he explained. "First, I searched the cow guarding you on Google. When I finally found her after long hours of hard work I marked her as my friend on Facebook. She, as a devil creature, who studied foreign magic, had a Facebook, you see. Her user name, which had a very devilish sound was Cutiecow<3. So I spied on her day and night, not even sleeping, just for you, my lady."

It was indeed a smart way to win my hand, but I still didn't understand all of it. "But my knight, why did you bring that idiot along? Why didn't you fight Monica?" I asked.

"Oh, that was the trick of it all." he laughed. You see, on Facebook I managed to find out her love interest, then I found a man who matched it and was into cows. It all went smoothly after that. Just as I planned." he said.

"Oh, my dear, you're so clever." I said with honest admiration in my eyes. "But I have one last question. Why are you a horse?"

It bugged me for a long time. How could a horse talk? You see, poor Monica studied black magic for years and all she could do was saying Mooo in a darker and sexier way.

"That's a minor problem." my savior answered. "It was a witch. Witches are real bitches. If you kiss me, I will turn back to a prince."

I didn't hesitate for a moment. I kissed the white horse. Right before my eyes he transformed into a beautiful prince, with black hair and enchanting green eyes. 

"That was dad!" my son shouted.

"Right, that was Eric." I agreed, my lips curving into a smile. My husband stepped into the room. He came back from work.

"Honey, you're telling the kids that fairy tale again?" he asked. "You could at least change the cow to a dragon." 

Eric didn't really like Monica, he said that she's uncool. But there's no truth in that. 

"Dear, I tell them the tale with Monica, because I don't want to teach them unrealistic things." I explained. I was already a dreamer. Why tell stupid stories to the kids, right?