Along the way

Too good at goodbyes

Revelations. Once in a while it would always shock you. This revelation had definitely surprised me.

All this time I thought I had no family. No living, normal, family. The kind of family that would say "love you" or "goodnight". No family that would protect me and defend me instead of trying to kill me or argue with me.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

"D....Dad?!"
"Hey love cakes"

I heard the tone in his voice that showed the soft loving side of him before he died, but I haven't seen this side ever since he "died". Suddenly all my happiness turned into darkness. How could he? After what, 5 years? And he has the balls to just come to Cole's house and come out of the blue. Where had he been for the past years? Where was he to give me my love you's. My kisses? Kisses? Where was he for the past years to be my father?

Anger. It is described as an adjective. A characteristic. Anger filled me up from head to toe. I wanted to just shut the door right in front of his face, but then something stopped me. His face. His face was a black look. Sadness. Sorrow. Ashamed. I hugged him. I wanted— nope I NEEDED the love of family. The love of family that I know that won't die. The love of a family that won't just fade away in the wind. I hugged him as tight as I can. He on the other hand hugged me like it his life depended on it.

Tears started to fill in my eyes as our embraced grew stronger. Death. I thought that he was dead. I thought I had no family. Thinking that I was alone.

Unfortunately our embrace had ended. I looked at Cole with an expression that was a sign to make him come over by me.

"Hi Mr. Johnson. I'm Cole, Elena's boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I was happy that he used that word. I was happy with the fact that I was his girlfriend. I liked how it made me feel when I knew the fact that he was mine. In my mind a memory played over and over again as I looked at my father. It was a memory where we went to the beach. Only me and him. We made a sandcastle and it was fun. That was until the water washed it away. I was upset. Angry. I felt numb even thought I was only five.

"Dad what are you doing here?"

"Well I thought I can see my daughter."

"No. You don't get to say that. I am not your daughter and you are not my father. My father died once he decided it was okay to pretend to be dead all these years."

"Elena. Please you don't under—."

"Understand? Your right Dad I don't understand. I never understood why my family is crazy. I never understood how I got so lucky with Cole. And I definitely do not understand why you came back if you didn't want to come back in the first place."

"Elena. Sweetheart, cmon. It's me your father."

"Just get out. I don't want you here get out."

In that moment I felt guilt. I felt sad because I just dissed my own father. But did I i the right thing? Did I do something for my self or something so j can keep it in the past? Million dollar question yet never answered.

~Tuesday~
Cole and I went to school early so we can go watch the football team get yelled by their coach. We would just laugh. Cole would have his muscular arm around me that felt like my shoulders were crushing. Although I liked it. We would just sit back and sit close to each other. I wish my world would stay like that but reality is reality and it sucks.