Along the way

Speechless

Confusion. People have that feeling at least once in their lives. Either for love or just a math problem that is so simple that you don't notice. Or maybe just a riddle. One of my favorite riddles is 19 and 20 has a fight. 21. Get it? Well I'm not going to tell you. Guess you just have to figure out. Like how I had to figure out how I got so lucky.

It was Saturday. Early. Bright. A new day. With Cole. I was happy because Cole is getting out of that disgusting hospital. Unfortunately I couldn't pick him up. He wanted to hang with Roger and Alex. I didn't mind, I had a whole day to get ready and go to my special spot. My special spot was the ocean. It was where my whole family would go when we had accomplished something. I haven't been there in a while. I was too busy with.... well you know what. When I go to my spot I would write stories about my past life. Sometimes I wouldn't even write about me and just write about other fictional people. Whatever comes in my brain I would write down. Other times I would think about what would I do in the future. Most of the times I would just stare at the waves crashing into the rocks and relate it to my life. I would see couples pass by, holding hands, kissing, hugging. At those times I would think if I would ever find love. At the time I was only 14 and about 1 and a half year later I came back to the spot and thunked differently. I sat on the biggest rock there was near the beach. I thought about Cole. My family. My future. I didn't question if I was ever going to survive. I didn't question if I was ever going to find love. Because obviously I survived. Because I obviously found the love of my life.

I stayed at the beach for about 2 hours thinking about what would happen after high school with me and Cole. I went back to Coles house and waited for him to come home. I waited 3 hours for him to come back. I was getting worried. I was about to call Alex until Cole had walked in and surprised me with a cake.

"Happy birthday love"

I smiled. I had forgot it was my birthday. Cole placed the cake down onto the table and had opened up his arms. I ran to him and hugged him. Happiness. It had washed my whole body when I felt Cole's embrace on me. I knew that nothing can ruin this moment. Nothing at all. I had blew out my candles and I made only one wish. That wish was to have my family back. My mom. Dad. Sister. Brother. All happy and healthy. I wanted to feel the love we once had when we were in Jersey. I knew that it was impossible, but you can't take away hope. Crazy? No. Hopeful? Absolutely. I was full of it. What makes it different this time is hat I still have living family you know except my sister. Do I regret hating? With all my heart. Do I trust my family? That's a hard question.

I remembered when my sister would come up to me and ask if I was a girly girl or a tomboy a week before my birthday. When she got the answer she would buy me a whole wardrobe. My answer every time was tomboy. I didn't like dresses. Skirts. Leggings. What I did like was jeans and over sized sweaters. I was going through memory lane as I was blowing out my candles. One of my wishes I knew that it was impossible. Suddenly a noise came from the door. Cole went to the door holding his fist up ready to punch. I giggled and push him out of the way before we would get arrested. When I opened the door I dropped my jaw. I froze. I couldn't believe my eyes. My impossible wish had came true. A person was in front of the door and it was my.......