Bleeding love

Her life

Namar's P.O.V

Once I came to my room after the incident I flopped onto my bed. I pulled out the diary.

I started with some of the most recent post.

Dear Diary, June 1 2014

Lately I've been debating with myself. Whether or not I'm the cause of most problems or if I'm just a bomb of mistakes ready to blow every five minutes.

Ally has been more depress lately it's hard to say if she even is telling me everything that's on her mind.

I know that whatever I say it's not going to make a difference. I did the most unexpected thing ever I said my first I love as a friend. She doesn't know how much she means to me but without her my world would crumple up and I guess I would be lost.

Sometimes I wonder what's best though, to keep my mouth shut and speak what my mind saids or speak what my heart wants. Because all I can think about is how much I wish I was her. A strong confident women. She doesn't see what I see but I know that if she changed her attitude about certain things and maybe change who she hang out with she would be the prettiest most talented girls I've met.

It's hard to say though that I'm jealous. She hides her feelings, no one bothers her and better yet she has everything she needs in life to be successful.

I can't quite process everything that happens but I know she is going to snap at me for being best friends with Namar. Her and everybody else seems to think we are together. We aren't. I treat him like I would treat my own bothers.

No one seems to process that.

I guess time will only tell.

Sincerely,

Aria Martin

Hmm so that's why she is always so upset.

Dear Diary, June 2 2014

It's been pretty good today other than the fact that everyone has a ship name for me and Namar. I don't like it. Yes I like him more than a friend but I. Couldn't do that to Ally a third time. I feel like I can tell her that. But I think I should wait... What if she is still mad at me for this I mean I ruined all her other chances with guys she likes, I mean I didn't tend to do it but it happened.

Well maybe it would be better if I just stopped writing my thoughts and goals in this pathetic piece of shit :( I just need to learn how to experience heart break.

Sincerely

Aria Martin.

No no no no I need to know more so I can fix this

Dear diary, June 8 2014

I finished my performances for drama they were alright except for the fact that I didn't do so well for the week. I didn't quite mean for it to happen but I intently rode my bike on the middle of the road hoping I would get hit. My mom thought it was an accident and I like to keep it that way.

Another thing that happen is I realize I am depress. Ally seems to understand and so does Namar I am so glad I can actually be loved back by people... It's been awhile. I love them like there is no tomorrow but there is and I can't wait to go back for the last 14 days of school.

I can't wait for summer. Maybe me and Ally can be great best friends.

I think though I should start getting more distant from Namar first after all he is the reason we had fights. It is hard though to give up on someone you die for in a heart beat, that's one of the reasons why I stopped trying to kill myself. because I know deep down they care just as much as they care for me. They are like a family I never had.

I hope it stays that way.

Sincerely,

Aria Martin

That's why she isn't telling me everything anymore. She thinks she is causing a problem.

Dear Diary, June 9 2014

I finished my exposition on my Hero.

I did it on Ally. She is the person I look up to. The person I wish I was. She acts like a mother to me and Namar. She is like a sister a best friend a pal that I know will stand by me no matter what. I wish I could write more about her in my exposition but I don't want her or myself to get in trouble. Tomorrow we have to do our band concert and we also have to do our trio dance for gym on Wednesday.

Hopefully we make it out alive with no one making fun of us.

Sincerely,

Aria Martin

Aww that is nice of Aria.hey why aren't I a inspirat- oh yeah I am to much of a derp

Dear Diary, June 10 2014

I made a mistake. I can't take it back. I got closer to Namar and I think Ally thinks that we like each other even though I like Sage. Her cousin. It's hard for me to even admit this to her but I ran out of school as fast as possible just to get away from all the drama just so I wouldn't be as much of a mistake as I already think I am. Well I guess maybe I should start be a loner again.

Sincerely,

Aria Martin

Omg I forgot all about that.

A/n

the diary posts are actually from my diary but only certain parts of it.