Powerful Emotions

2/26/18

I honestly don't know how to express myself when I say this but, I'm confused.

Confused about who my true friends are, confused as to who I am as a person, but most of all I think of all the endless possibilities of how my life could end up being like.

I could end up falling in love like those cringe romantic movies where the guy gets the girl or vice versa.

I could become a successful billionaire and become more work-oriented and lack a social life or, even a life at all just work work work work work.

There are so many routes that I can take for my dream life to be obtained, but let's go back to relationships.

For me having a relationship has always been a struggle for me I mean like when your single and have a hard ass work ethic you don't really think about dating, it's more about what can I do to make this better or what am I missing.

Basically putting my work ethics before the idea of love, the only reason for that is because of past experience, it's hard to get over your first love especially if it was genuine and true.

Since I lost him I continued to push guys away and stay to myself I may talk to them from here and there but, it's only for a friendship.

I want a bond where someone can be honest with me, I can tell my problems to, and more importantly, someone that I know I can trust that isn't like Demetri who shattered my heart into pieces.

He was my first love, and once he broke my heart he became the last as I was never able to get over him to this day.

But he's beside the point, right now I'm taking the time to discover myself through the satisfaction, contentment, and calmness of life to prove to not only others but more importantly myself that I not only made it this far alone but that I'm gonna continue to reach the destination.

I mean this is just a little pit stop and then it's right back on the trail I can make my own decisions as an independent black woman and I will continue to do so.

Signed,
Jeneice