She thought that this feeling would be over soon that she will be free and everything would be over soon and she didn't have to deal with them anymore...this made her a bit more relieved the feeling she longed for so much.
People often took her for being a rather cheerful and a happy young girl..she was at some point but everything took a turn and her life wasn't as meaningful as before she just felt irrelevant and hated the way everything went and hated how her life turned out.
She is not weak, she just wants relief, to be at peace is all what she ever looked for..she needed to do that for herself and to free her soul not caring about what anyone would think or what they would feel..she cared all her life for them and got nothing out of it...they didn't care as much so why da fuck would she care.
They told her that she was crazy and needed help, the problem is that even with help she didn't get her peace or relief..instead she was made fun of because of the way she thought..
She is not weak she wants to be free, she wants a better life, so she is doing that for herself not for others, she has to.
The view was so breath taking she never thought that there could be something that majestic, she aprechated it a lot seeing that it's her last thing to see, she always thought that at this moment she might turn back that she would be scared and would Chicken out and would go back, but strangely enough she was as calm and peaceful as the Scene in front of her, she longed for this since everything had started she loved it...the feeling that is.
The last thing she remember of the day she died was when they lowered her coffin, down this deep hole. She saw how her mom cried and how her sister begged for her to come back.
She didn't feel bad for them, she couldn't, they never cared when she was still alive. She knew doing this was her only way out of it all, the memories, the feels.
She forgot all about everything after two days and she is just wandering around, she is clueless about why she is here, or why no one seems to respond to her when she talks to them. She thought maybe she was no one that why they never answered.
One day, she went to her old house. There she saw her mother hugging her picture and crying her eyes out, but she didn't really know who she is or why she is crying hugging that picture. She only shrugged and thought maybe this was a photo of her daughter.
For her days past all the same, she never met anyone like her and she couldn't get people to speak to her, she felt lonely.
She is dying for someone to talk to her and mostly she is dying for a hug.
She often wondered if she ever had a family, a mother that cared for her and hugged her and talked to her.
As the days past she cared less about talking and looking for someone, she would only sit by the ocean and watch the still water hoping for a change, a wave maybe something that can bring something different to her dull, still life.
Her POV.
I wanted to do it on my birthday. I always thought that dying on your birthday is poetic and surreal. But as always even this I couldn't do, being weak is my coolest talent. You see even if my life depended on it I couldn't do it.
Mom planed the day like always, she invited everyone, she is always this excited about anything that has to do with us.
I don't really like any of the people that will be here, I genuinely hate people. All of them except for my mom. But she never really cared she only get excited just to see the people and her friends, because my dad never really allowed her out a lot. He hated people looking at her or anything that belonged to him. A sadistic asshole.
Author POV.
The loneliness was killing her. It was harder than her lost memory, she hoped to find someone to talk to her, to hug her. She missed hugs the most it made her feel appreciated and loved some how.
She would wonder everyday in various places hoping to remember or to find someone like her. It happens to be her 10th day wondering when she came across something really strange, she met a woman who could actually see her. The first thing she wanted was to go and hug her, which she did and as soon as she did her memories came flushing in. She remembers everything, every feeling, every moment she wished to forget about. The woman told her that she needed to remember to try and move on, but the thing is she didn't want to move on. She is caged in her memories and she didn't want to let go.
