The Jump

14 The Truth

When they approached Lucinda's door it was as if the breeze had paused and the crickets were taking a break from chirping. It only made her more nervous as she shoved the key in the lock. Her fingers even trembled slightly as she turned it, but Raif didn't seem to noticed as he placed soft kisses on her temple. As she felt the lock give, her face warmed with Raif's sweet affection and she pushed on the door, opening it. Without needing an invitation, Raif followed Lucinda right in and it caused the warmth from her face to shoot down to her heart, relaxing her. She loved that they felt welcome in each other's homes.

"Care for a drink?" Lucinda called over her shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen. Because she would need to drink her courage before telling him the truth...

"Yeah, sure. I'll take whatever you got." Raif replied as he kicked off his shoes and settled onto the couch.

"Beer ok?" Lucinda ask as she held open the fridge.

"Perfect."

She twisted off the bottles caps on the locally brewed ales and plopped down next to Raif with a sigh. Immediately they settled into their normal routine of her legs over his lap and his arm around her shoulders while the other caressed her thigh. Together they sipped their beers while chatting about customers and inventory. They drank two more rounds before Lucinda finally felt ready to spill her guts.

"Hey Raif?" she said while stroking his hair.

"Mm hm," he murmured sleepily.

"This is hard for me to say, but I feel that I need to." Lucinda pulled her legs off of his lap and hugged her knees.

Raif sat up straighter with wrinkles of concern forming on his forehead. "Are... are you having second thoughts about us?"

"No." She shook her head and reached out to touch him. "Not at all. It's just that... I didn't just wake up one morning and decide I wanted to move. This all kind of happened by accident. My friend Merrill, the one who's coming to visit, well... he found me. Actually, he rescued me when he found me floating in the river near his home."

Raif's eyes bulged as he rattled out, "Oh my goodness! What happened?"

"What I'm going to say may change the way you view me..." She hesitated as she studied his facial expressions, but he only sat up straighter to give her his full attention. She continued, "I was just so tired of the way things were going and the day before it happened I saw my ex having lunch with his family at the same restaurant as me. I was so caught off guard that I made an absolute fool of myself as I tried to dodge out of there. It felt like the final straw, so there I was sitting on this bridge near my home and I wondered where the river would lead to? Did it end at a lake? An ocean? I wanted so badly to just be somewhere else, so I jumped off of the bridge... hoping it would take me somewhere else."

Raif visibly swallowed down a gulp. "Were... you trying to kill yourself?"

"Honestly, no." She shook her head, her heart pounding thunderously. "I know that sounds insane, and if I were you I'd probably be rushing out of the door right now, but truthfully I just really wanted to be somewhere else. I guess you can say I had a moment of temporary insanity?" Lucinda said with a nervous laugh, trying to make light of it. "I wasn't thinking straight but I'm glad that Merrill found me and nursed me back to health. I'm glad that I have a second chance in life."

There was silence as Raif absorbed it all, but with the ticking of the clock on the wall, it felt excruciatingly long. So long in fact, that Lucinda began to regret saying anything at all, until finally Raif let out a breath. She was scared to look up at him, but when she did their eyes met. He leaned in and planted a long kiss on her lips and for a moment they remained that way, breathing the same air.