I don't know. #lovesimon contest

To you.

Dear World, who might not understand your own feelings. This is to you.

I never knew that I would just be a lesbian. I don't remember something sticking out to me. I didn't steal a playboy poster from my father's garage, I didn't kiss my childhood best friend when I was eight. I didn't do any of the things that other lesbians tell me about.

I had a crush on Harry Potter when I was 6, I dreamed of marrying Batman when I was 9, I had a boyfriend at eleven.

It was also when I was eleven that the kids in my middle school decided to call me a lesbian. I went home crying to my dad. I was into girls, I liked boys. I was so determined to like boys to prove them wrong that I asked a boy who I had a small crush on out.

That same year I kissed my best friend. She was heartbroken because her crush was dating another girl and it was her idea. I didn't tell anyone about it. We secretly dated for a few months and then stopped.

After that I decided I was bisexual, and I moved schools. I ended up dating a boy, he wasn't that good looking but he was kind and understanding.

"Do you think you are using him?" My therapist at the time asked me.

"No," I told her. "I love him, I can see a future with him."

I was way off. For about three years we were okay friends, and I did love him, just not romantically. He graduated two years before me, great time gap.

Through that adventure I developed a crush on my close friend. I loved her, wanted to protect her. I don't think I was able to see myself with her, but I wanted to try. A year after my feelings developed I told her about them. She kindly told me no, she liked boys.

She is now a he and in a pretty happy relationship with a boy.

It's been maybe two years since then, and I still know I like girls. I don't know if I was born this way or if my past formed me this way. I don't have all the answers, but I do know one thing, I'm a lesbian.

Sometimes I think back to the sixth graders who teased me. I think of when I came out and how nearly no one was surprised.

Was I always gay? Will I always like the same gender?

I'm not certain, I sometimes don't understand my own feelings. Love is confusing, attraction is blinding, and I can't comprehend why love isn't love.

I hope, in the slightest way, this letter has helped.

Love, @PlasticStarPaperMoon