A chandler riggs love story

Chapter 13

"What," I ask quietly, not really believing what he just told me. "I thought I had gotten over you- I had gotten over you- and then all of a sudden here you are again and all of my old feelings came back. Seeing you with Sam, it hurt. Tonight I realized I still like you," he says, looking at me pleadingly. I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a shaky breath. "Chandler, we barely even know each other. That was over a year ago. And you have Ammacie," I reason and he looks into my eyes with his blue ones and takes a step forward. "I don't even like Macie, and I can't help feeling this way. Don't tell me you actually have feelings for Sam," he replies and I'm starting to get pissed. "Chandler! We can't be together. I like Sam," I'm almost yelling now. I march back to the party before he can say any more.

Sure, Chandler's cute. And he's funny. And I love the way he laughs, smiles, the way he talks. And his hair is beautiful. But Sam is so sweet, and I spent the last year trying to get over him. I don't want to throw that all away. Why does he even like me? I'm not as pretty or outgoing as Ammacie, and I know I don't have the best personality either. And how cocky is he! He just expects me to just ditch Sam and be with him. I find Sam just as a slow song comes on and he puts his hands on my waist and pulls me towards him. I put my arms around his neck and we sway to the music.

"What did Chandler want," Sam asks softly in my ear. I debate whether I should tell him or not. It's really not all that important, so I decide to just keep it quiet. "Nothing, he just wanted to congratulate me," I say calmly and he buys it. I see Chandler walk in ten minutes later. His eyes look red and when he sees me looking, he goes straight for the exit. I kind of feel bad for him, but he will probably be over me tomorrow. The weird thing was, if Sam wasn't in the picture I probably would have told Chandler the truth; I like him too.

I know I shouldn't, and I also like Sam, but I can't help it. I turn to Sam and smile. "I'm going to go talk to Chandler, okay? He looks kind of sad," I say and Sam nods. "Alright, but hurry back," he replies and I hurry off to go find Chandler. I decide that maybe we can be friends. If he gets to know me better, maybe he won't like me anymore. And I really feel bad for him. I find him sitting in a corner crying.

"Chandler, what's wrong," I ask and he looks up at me and tries to stop crying. "Macie heard our conversation and broke up with me," he answers sadly. That's understandable, I mean I would break up with him too if I heard him tell someone else he liked them and that they didn't like me. I sit next to him. "I'm sorry," I say sympathetically. He puts his head on my shoulder and I let him. We just sit in comfortable silence for a while and finally I speak. "I should get back to Sam. Are you going to be fine?" I ask, and he moves so I can get up. "Probably," he says and I walk away. I enter the loud room again and look around for Sam. I walk over to where we were before, and I see him, but he's not alone. He's locking lips with some redhead.

He opens his eyes and sees me. "Ally, I can explain," he says, and I go up to him and punch him in the face as hard as I can before running out the way I came. Tears are already streaming down my face, as I rush into the hall. I bump into someone, and keep running, tears blurring my eyes too much to see and my throat suddenly seems too dry to apologize. "Ally? Ally!" I hear Chandler's voice calling from behind me, but I don't care anymore. I just don't want to care anymore.

My life was finally starting to come together and now the guy I like ditches me for some random bitch! I find myself slamming the door of a bathroom behind me and am very glad to see it empty. I frantically search my small bag for something I haven't used in forever. Hopefully it's still here. I find it tucked away at the bottom. I'm not sure why I still have this one, I must have forgotten to throw it away when I threw away the others. I lean over the sink and look at the razor blade. I hold it gently against my pale skin and press a little, as I hear someone pounding at the door. "Alyssa! Are you okay?" I hear Chandler yell from outside. I don't answer, just give a relieved sigh as I feel the razor break skin and it glides across my wrist, leaving a trail of red behind it. It feels so good, the pain is an escape from my feelings.

"Alyssa!!!" I hear Chandler bellow from outside. I snap my head up as he barges in, and glimpses my wrist before I have time to hide it. I see his face transform from confusion to anger as he storms up to me. "Ally! What did you do," he asks quietly, grabbing my hand and turning it so the cut is facing him. He looks into my eyes, and I see what I had thought was anger was something else. Sadness? Pain? Disappointment? Worry? The intensity of his gaze takes me out of my high, and the gravity of the situation starts to dawn on me. I don't reply, simply because I have nothing to say. I can't make him understand. He grabs some paper towels and wraps them around my wrist, never taking his eyes off my red teary ones.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he says softly, and I put on my bracelets and let him guide me towards the limos. My emotions now consist of sadness, abandonment and guilt. I don't know when it happened, but I fell asleep on the ride back. Nightmares plagued me all night, and I wake the next day more disappointed in myself than I had thought possible.