No Luck with Love!

Chapter 1!

Hello Everyone,

I will introduce myself as Darlene (my fiction name!)

I am Darlene and I am 23 years old and live in The Netherlands. The story's you guys are gonna read are about my life and will be coming out off my Diary.. All these story's are real! So no Fiction only the names are Fiction! I will try my best English so sorry for the mistakes!

I'm gonna start about the story off my life, who I am and there will be some story's that you understand later in the other chapters! Not all story's are based on Love but most off them do!

I will start about my family, offcourse I have Parents and family. My dad was married before he married my mom, with that lady he have 2 daugthers, so I have 2 half sister, these lady's are 22 and 20 years older then me. I don't see or speak with my half sisters anymore! The reason why is very complicated so I don't wanna talk about that subject, they are out off my life and I am very happy about that. Only my mom, my dad and me! My dad is very sick as long as I can remember, he's a very bad heart patiend, diabetic and some other things. It was very hard growing up with a sick dad, even now I'ts very hard to deal with it! Everyday is a question.. how is he feeling today! My mom is a very hard worker! I have so much respect for her and I love her so so much! I am very close with my mother and my grandmother, these two woman are the most important woman in my life, but still.. they don't understand me all the time!

In my life off 23 years.. there are so many what happed to me! I got bullied at schools, but not only at schools, in my neighborhood, in my family and even grown up people! I was very depressed in my childhood and teenage year ( I still am)! The thoght off suicide was very active in my mind! I just to do selfharm.. but I don't want that anymore so I'm trying not to think about that! I am very insecure about myself and last year I had some tests and they tols me that I have ADD and ADHD and some other things. So yes I am a little diffrent then other people who are 23 years old! And yes marbe I am a little insecure and shy but at least I am real! And I don't care anymore what people think off me I am who I am and yes I have my flaws but that don't make me a criminal right?

In 2004 there was a comedy group who were so funny I was a big fan of them! I went to there tv shows to there theater shows! I loved them so much! They have saved my life for real! Why? Well in one off the story's you will understand why! This group stopped in 2008 I was 18 and I was broken when I heard that.. I cried for days! I went to there last tv show and there last show in the theaters! After they stopped It was hard for me to find something that would help me out off my dark thoughts.. Music was the answer for me, everynight I fall asleep with music in my ears.. I know thats weird but I'ts the only way for me to relax and to calm down from my own thoughts! That falling asleep with music started when I was 18 I am now 23 years old and still I fall asleep with my music in my ears! A friend off mine was/is a big fan off One Direction and didn't like them at all! But in 2013 I was watching some clips on youtube from them and soon after that I was listening to there music and I was sold right away! I found my new love right then! They were just in time to pull out of the dark.. If I didn't find them at that moment I was not here to make this story! Soon after that I was fangirling all over Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.. but I got alot off hate because I am 23 and a Directioner, I hate it! Those people sending me death treaths and tell me that I need to kill myseld and that I am a pedofile and stuff! It hurts like hell.. but I'm turning 24 next month and I don't care anymore! I love them and they saved my life all over again! I am so happy to see them in a view days! I'm going to both off the concerts in Amsterdam this year ( view days) and I am more then happy with that! Oke I stop with my obbsesion for One Direction haha!

When I was 12 years old I was in a park with a friend off mine Carlos, we were both on our bike and he was going home and I lost him.. I walked with my bike in my hand out off the park.. and out off nowhere I was hearing footsteps behind me.. This man turned me arround and his hands were all over me ( If you know what I mean?!) He told me that this was a secret and If would tell anyone he would kill my parents! He followed me for month and police didn't believe me a all they called me crazy and stuff! A view weeks later a little boy was raped and he told the police how this look like.. and he told them exact the same things what I told them! The police said sorry to me and my parents and that was it.. Me and my parents moved away a view years later and the man? He was in jaill for a view years!

My parents and I moved to another neighborhood and I turned 18 in the new house. I worked in a supermarket and I was going home from my job and I was walking true the streets and it was 3 in the afternoon. When I came home my mom asked me to go back and by some things for diner that so I took the money and walked back to my work. When I walked out off the street there was nothing then 2 or 3 buildings and some parked cars, there were 4 man waling my way I though they would walk by me but no.. out off no where 2 man crapped me by the arms and the other were touching me all over my body! I froze.. they watched me and said nothing, well ther were saying things but I didn't understand what ther were saying! They were Polish by the way! They pushed me to the ground and run away! I stood up and walked to the supermarktet and get the things what my mom asked me to get! When my manager saw me she took me in to her office and asked me what was wrong! I broke and started crying! She called my parents and my parents called the police.. same story as the other one! They didn't believed me! After a view weekd some woman from the police called and said sorry for not believing me.. why? Well 2 weeks after that happend to me there were 2 girl really raped by these 4 man! They told the police the exact same thing off how the were looking as me! So antoher story with no trust in the people who you need to trust with these kind off things!

My life rigth now.. yes well thats pretty weird! Because off the ADD and ADHD I have no job. I am looking for one but I'ts very hard to find one! For my future? I don't know I am trying to enjoy life right now! I have to wait for what will happen.. I'ts not easy with all these things going on right now and things that happend in the past to stay postive about life.. you know?

Well guys this is the first chapter! I hope you like it and I hope when you have any questions you will ask me! I will always answer and If you need help with something just say it ok?!

xoxo!