A Young Woman's Angles

A Young Woman's Angles 3

Days have passed and Theresa was making plans for her mother Home Going. With pain in her heart and tears in her eyes, she spoke with the funeral director. Things were not going right and Theresa was ready to give up on everything she worked so hard for. As she & her family walked into the funeral home a soul-dropping feeling came over her; she now knew she was not dreaming that her mother was gone forever. 

Good Evening, said, Mr. Shorty. Are you ready to make these homegoing plans? 

Those words tumbled through her spirit like a Mac Truck. Good Evening, yes we're ready stated Tasha, Theresa baby sister. Tasha was the youngest of their mother children and Theresa's rock for the time being. 

Hey Shorty, long time no see stated Lamont; the oldest child. Oh My Goodness Mont, how have you been, asked, Shorty? What are you doing here this evening he asked not knowing that Zelma was his mother. Well, Shorty Zelma is our mother as he pointed to his sisters. Okay, then she will be giving extra, extra care because she is family, said Shorty.

As they walked up the step to the office; Theresa noticed all the caskets and urns that were placed around the funeral home. She was ready to turn around and run for her life, but her legs would not allow her too. As they entered the office Theresa's Aunt & Uncle were sitting talking to each other. She was surprised to see them there because no one else in the family would even call her back. Theresa knew that she had no way to pay for a service and her husband Khaliyl were willing to do anything to have this done right. 

Okay, everyone we can now get started with the plans, said, Shorty. First I have to ask if there is an Insurance Policy in place for Ms. Collins? I'm sorry Shorty, right! said Theresa. Her name is Mrs. Zelma Collins; her and my father are still married. I do apologize, said Shorty, Mrs.Collins. No there is no Insurance Policy in place, said Lamont. We are going to have to pay out of pocket for everything. Alright, then let us see what we can do for this beautiful family. 

Theresa sat quietly listening is everyone talking about what they wanted for her mother. She was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Lamont and their uncle started to argue about money; Uncle was calling Lamont out his name. At that point, Theresa couldn't take it anymore and she ran out of the office crying and yelling. She no longer wanted help from anyone and was going to make sure that her mommy Home Going was special no matter what she had to do.  

She ran for a block before hearing Khaliyl calling her name. When she stopped and turned around he was right behind her. She cried in his arms and was so confused about everything that just happened. Khaliyl told his wife that everything would be okay and he would make sure she had whatever she wanted for their mother Home Going. 

Khaliyl then walked his wife back into the funeral home where they all sat and planned mommy service. All she could remember was the date of January 16, 2017. Everything else that was talked about went over the rainbow and Theresa was lost in a dark hole of pain. 

As the days passed by, people were calling Theresa phone asking questions about the service. She was so tired of answering questions that she just told everyone to call Khaliyl and he would have all the information. 

Theresa lost, confused and completely empty called on her daddy Steven to make her feel better. Steven was just as lost because he lost his wife and best friend. She never knew how bad her daddy was hurting until she saw him again. As she walked into his apartment he shared with his girlfriend; Theresa noticed the room was extra dark, there were cigarettes on the table next to his chair and the television was playing old Cowboy shows, something that he and Zelma would watch together over the phone. 

Daddy, why do you have all the lights out? As she asked the question her daddy turned and looked at her and she could see that he was giving up. His weight was once again dropping off him, he looked pale and his eyes were bloodshot red like he never stopped crying. Theresa knew at that very moment that her daddy would be the next to go and she was not ready for any more loss or pain. 

As they sat watching television and talking, Theresa asked her daddy if he wanted to ride in the family car and did he want to say anything at the service. Steven replied to his daughter that he would run with them and that he doesn't know about speaking at the service. He wanted to wait until that day to see how he would feel. Theresa understood and changed the subject right away. They began to talk about the old days like nothing changed, Theresa could see the joy and pain in her daddy's eyes as he talked about her mommy. They shared some laughs and tears together, ate a meal together and Theresa then helped her daddy to bed before leaving. She kissed her daddy and told him she would call later. They, then, said,  "see you later" and she left.

As Theresa sat in her car all she could do was cry because she was unable to remove the pain her father was feeling. She waiting to take all their pain and throw it into the river and watch it just float away. 

Her drive home was long, she took the long way so that she could think and talk to her mommy.  She began to think about the last conversation they had that morning. She wanted to go back to December 31, 2016, and start the day all over again, just so that she can tell her mommy one last time she loved her. She wanted so bad to her ask for fried chicken, seafood salad, a cold diet ginger ale and popcorn, everything that she was unable to eat or drink. She just wanted her mommy to yell at her one more time, call her Janell and tell her she was not too big for an ass-kicking. These were the things that she wanted to have back more than ever.  

As Theresa walked into her home she noticed Khasir her youngest child was sitting on the sofa. He was not talking, the television was off and no one else was around. She knew just what he was thinking and just sat on the sofa next to him. He laid on his mom crying. No word was said as they both cried together. Once again she wanted to remove someone else pain, but this time she wanted to take that pain and give to someone else. At that very moment, he said something that would cut deeper than anything else. 

Mom, why does Allah take away the people we love and leave the people that don't love us?

She looked into her 13-year-old son eyes and was unable to answer his question. She just knew that she didn't want her baby boy to hurt like this ever again. 

Khasir, we have don't know why Allah do the things he does, but I do know that it's all done for a reason. Please, son just knows that we'll find a way to get past this pain together. 

As they sat there together no longer speaking, but Theresa and Khasir fell asleep. 

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! was all she heard which made her jump up. Theresa looked around forgetting that she was safely home with her family. 

Khasir jumped up too. Son, did you hear that loud sound? Khasir looked at his mom like she was crazy and losing her mind. Mom, there is nothing going on, there was no sound either. Theresa was confused and wanted to know what happened and why she thought she heard gunshots. At that very moment, Theresa realized she was dreaming and could make out who was shot. 

Her and Khasir got up, they went upstairs to find that everyone was asleep in the house. It was 11:30 p.m. and they had no idea it was that late. Both mother and son still tried, said goodnight and went to bed. 

As Theresa laid in her bed she cried some more because she knew that the next morning would be another morning that her mommy didn't call her at 7:30 a.m. asking if she up yet? Theresa smiled, closed her eyes and fell asleep.