■□I am not just a pretty girl■□

A wish ♡♡♡

I wish people could see the real me, not the fake mask that I put on for them each and everyday.

I'm not the happy go lucky, sweet, optimistic person that they think I am.

I want them to see the me at 3 am when I'm sobbing uncontrollably because I fear that I will never be good enough for anyone. 

The me that gets so consumed by her thoughts, that it results in self-injury, because that's the only way to make the pain go away. 

The me, who every time I feel as if I've said or done something dumb, proceeds to hit her self, because "how could I be so dumb?" 

The me that is absolutely terrified that I will never amount to anything and ultimately just fail at life. 

The me who fears that I will never have a relationship, have kids, or get married, because of all of my imperfections. 

The me who absolutely hates looking in the mirror or even looking at myself, because I am so fat, so ugly, filled with so many imperfections, that I know no one will ever love me. 

The me that gets so anxiety filled just trying to order a meal, because I'm scared of messing it up, so I have to stay it over and over in my head before ordering. 

The me who feels the need to be perfect all the time, because I cannot stand to see people upset, or to have people dislike me. 

There's so many things that people don't know about me, because I'm too scared to say it out loud. Sometimes it's easier to tell a random stranger these kinds of things then someone you've known your whole life....

By Anoushka Parikh