Hear the music

2. The Hell

I'm not actually going to Hell, but I think is a good definition of school.
I usually go to school by bus 'cause my parents won't take me. I wake up at 7 a.m. and leave home at 7:30.
I stay in the first desk, in front of the translator. I don't have a desk-mate . Not that I wouldn't want to, but nobody will ever try to be my friend.
In the breaks I watch my class-mates playing, laughing and listening to music. This is one of my biggest regrets: I've never heared music. I don't even know how it's supposed to sound like.

Sometimes I ask myself if what I'm doing is good. If I've ever done something wrong. I feel I did, because otherwise why won't they like me.
When I was little I had a dream. I wanted to become a singer and have a band , fans , go to concerts. I thought that when I'll grow up I would start hearing. I was wrong and of course my parents needed to destroy my dream since I was 6. From that moment every single hope I had disappeared. I stopped playing with dolls, I didn't want to go outside anymore. I became depressed.
Now , everything is like Hell for me. Everything ecxept of my room.

It was around Christmas when I started understanding that school is Hell. We were doing "Secret Santa" and everyone was exited. One girl started crying. We couldn't understand why. After 10 minutes of observing, the translator told me it was because she found out that the present she was going to receive was from me. Well, that was bad news. I felt guilty at the beggining, but after a couple of explications from the translator I understood they will never accept me.

It's been a year since then. I feel like nothig has changed. My daily rutine is the same. I wake up, go to school, come home, do homwork and sleep again and again. I don't talk to my parents (I can't) and it's like I'm not even in the house. I don't know why they took me. Maybe to make me suffer. I think, one day, I will have a job and move to my house , not that I have one, but I wish I will have.

Another thing I really wanted since I was a child is a dog. I've seen some at the neighbors and in the park and I read about them. They are called "men's best friend". Maybe they will accept me.