Only A Memory (A PewDiePie and Cutiepiemarzia fanfiction)

Chapter 9

**Fannys POV**

How dare he do this to us?

Damn it Felix.

I understand that what he recently went through was horrible but it was awful for me and Mom too. We thought he was dead or that he would never wake up again. The flight was both terrifying and miserable. Then we get here and sit next to his unconscious body for a week. Then once he wakes up he seems so out there. I want to know what changed in my brother. He was once full of life and love. Now… Now I can’t even explain it.

Why did he come to Italy in the first place?

Why did he want to die?

He won’t talk to us about it and now as I sit in the waiting room with Mom pacing around waiting for any news at all I realize that there is something seriously wrong with him.

“Mom.” I whisper looking up.

“Oh…” She sighs and finally sits down “What is it?”

“What happened to Felix?” I ask trying to fight the tears that suddenly battle their way out of me. I can’t cry at all or else I will completely lose it, and I can’t lose it right now.

“I wish I knew.” My mom says leaning back in her seat. “I don’t understand… He was fine. Or… At least I thought.”

“I don’t get it either. I don’t get why he came to Italy. He never made any announcement to his fans – I mean ‘Bros’ – about it…” I say trailing off.

“I can’t- I can’t help but wonder if it was my fault.” She says choking back a sob.

 Just then, a doctor comes out of Felix’s room. We both immidiatly stand up.

“He is stable.” The doctor says gesturing to the door

“Is he awake?” I ask with my jaw tightening. I feel a wave of anger sweep over me. He tried to kill himself.

“Yes.” The doctor says. “If you need anything just call for one of us. We will be right around the corner. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.”

“Okay.” Mom says as she makes her way to his room “Thank you for all of your help Dr. Hayler.” I follow her and then stop and turn to the doctor.

“Wait.” I say tapping Dr. Hayler on the shoulder. “I am just assuming he will be talking to a therapist about this, um, incident.”

“Yes. Of course we need to make sure he is not a danger to himself or to society when he is released.” Comes his flat reply.

I nod and scurry into the room. I see mom sitting in a chair that is pulled up next to the bed stroking his hand. As soon as I see Felix I lose it completely.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” I scream the second the door is safely shut. Confused, Felix jumps into a sitting position. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ALL OF US?”

“Fanny.” Mom says standing up. “Honey it is okay.”

“NO!” I yell as the horrible, horrible sobs make their way out of me. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AGAIN! THINK ABOUT US! THINK ABOUT YOUR FANS! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO THEM BECAUSE THE ENITRE FUCKING WORLD IS HAVING A GADDAMN HEART ATTACK OVER YOU!” I run over to the bed and shake his shoulders roughly “WHERE IS MY REAL BROTHER?!”

“I-I miss her.” He says looking down I see tears falling down his face.

“WHO?! WHO DO YOU MISS?! WHY DID YOU COME TO ITALY?!” I yell pounding my fist down on the wooden table next to the bed. I regret my decision right away because my hand aches.

“Fanny!” My mother says grabbing my hand as I continue to lash out and cry at Felix. “Stop this right now! I just can’t take this!”

“I want an explanation!” I say sobbing into my mothers shoulder. “I want my brother to be okay!”

“I need to see Marzia again.” Felix begins. I look up and he starts to explain everything. From the second he “woke up without Marzia in Sweden, not Brighton” to the second he made the choice to jump off of that bridge. I sit and I listen to everything without interrupting. My heart breaks inside when at the end he whispers something that I will never forget.

“She is and always will be my everything.”