A series of stupid ideas and (mis)fortune, hosted by an Orange Guy

Getting in, getting out

A/N: Enjoy the chapter! "Reusing" the song above, since I think it's one of the past Yandere-songs out there x3

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It was the next morning after their visit at the hospital and Old Sport had to confess that he was a little overwhelmed with all the stuff he had found in front of his restaurant.
Where should he put the puppet that almost made him have a heart attack out of nostalgia? Over to the ball pit, because toddlers were drowning in there on a regular basis? Or to the more dangerous moving attractions, to stop the kids from breaking all of their bones?
"Planning on doing anything?" Without him noticing, the marionette had freed itself of the box and was now sitting on top of, legs crossed and its green glowing eyes fixated onto him.
"You came out?"
"How else am I supposed to save the children?"
"Makes... sense..."
"Now, where would you like to place me? Anything I should pay especially close attention to?"
"U-uh..."
"Please, don't waste so much of my energy."
"I..."
Candy Cadette had rolled up to them, looking at the puppet. "I am Candy Cadette and the protector of this restaurant. You could also get candy here! Candy. Candy. Candy."
"Hello Candy Cadette, I am the Marionette. I will assist you in protecting this place."
At least they wouldn't go ahead and sabotage each other. Freddy was still sleeping, so his reaction was to be paid close attention to.
"You... how about you two divide the restaurant into your own little protection districts, while I..." Quickly he bolted off and placed the prize king in one corner. That thing hadn't cost a fortune, after all it had been marked down, but it was still quite an investment and he wanted to see what it had to offer.
Probably he could reasonable pretend to check this thing for potential danger...
First try!
Nothing. Goddammit.
Second try!
Nothing! GODDAMMIT.
Third try!
15 000 Dollar.
What?
What the-?
Holy frick! They would go bankrupt in about two hours! G R E A T!
Old Sport got a Foxy plushie, stuffed it into the ball and put it back in. He would need to hurry to get all the money out of this thing...
Quickly he put coin after coin into it, filling every other ball with merchandise of different value, depending on how much money he found in it or if it was nothing.
Suddenly one of them was a lot heavier than the others. Curiously he tapped onto the middle, which opened up and released, in a blinding light...!
"Ah, it was soooo uncomfortable in there... hello there, boy~"
Funtime Chica stretched her whole body as a provocation and giggled while posing, blowing a kiss towards the manager.
Trying to get his jaw back into the normal position Old Sport blinked a few times in awe. "Lawsuits, here I come."
"Hehehe, good to see we're on the same page..." She wiggled her hips and Old Sport wiggled dutifully back.
"How did you even fit into that thing?"
"It's a black hole to different dimensions."
"Ah...?"
"But who cares, I'm here now after all~"
"Did I really just got FREE money and a FREE animatronic from a down-prized item? Holy hell, I have to thank Dave for this one."
Walking towards the stage Chica swayed her hips from side to side, smirking to herself, despite no one watching her.
Orange Guy was giving his best to find a way to tear his eyes away from that crispy chick and decided to try to break open the machine as distraction. Despite not managing to even scratch the prestige surface, another bootleg pokéball fell out. Greedily opening it up, noticing its weight and concluding it was an animatronic again!
HOLY HECK COULD THIS DAY GET EVEN BETTER?
THE LIGHT FILLED THE RESTAURANT AND REVEALED...
"Why hello there, Old Sport... Guess who won our little bet?"
Dave laid triumphantly on the floor his grin glowing clearly behind the fluffy bunny mask.
"You sneaky bastard... you goddamn son of an aubergine! YOU KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"
"I've won!"
Lefty had noticed the chaos going on and was standing in the middle of the restaurant, shocked.
Orange Guy! Quick, throw him back out!
"He can't. We made a deal after all. Argh, I'm IN! I DID IT! AHAHAHAHAHA! BACK AGAIN!"
Old Sport was looking down at him, somewhat stiff, but Marionette could have sworn he saw a slight smile was on his lips, despite there being no way he would smile about something like that. There was an insane manic laughing on the floor, for heaven's sake!
"I hate you." Softly he said it, while helping Dave up.
"I love you too!" With that he hugged his friend tightly, truly happy about being back inside.
"Marionette?"
Yes?
"Yes?"
"Oh... uh... we need to give you two different names..."
I do not accept nicknames.
"Good, in that case, you're so going to be called Marion!"
I really hate you.
"Blah, blah, Marion is at least a human name!"
I don't WANT- ah, whatever... it's POINTLESS to argue with someone as stubborn as you!
"Good. Marion, from now on you'll keep an eye on Dave, right?"
Naturally! You don't have to tell something so ridiculous obvious! Honestly, why don't we springlock him again and seal him away in the saferoom...?
Two pairs of glowing eyes was focused onto him and the air felt heavier than before.
The silence began to gnaw away Marionette's confidence and made him question if he really missed something while being locked away all those years.
I... I guess this was a silly idea...?
"Good Puppet." Slightly smug Dave gave a thumbs up. "Now! Entertainment time!"
Phone Guy entered, frozen as he saw Dave inside. "Isn't it a bit late for you to be in here?"
"From now on I'll never even LEAVE! I'M IN NOW, BABY!"
"Careful with all that jumping, or you might snap those springlocks again, employee..." The Head-Guard simply shrugged, not remotely surprised about this situation. Yet, the way he turned towards Old Sport was the embodiment of disappointment. "If I wouldn't know it better, I'd suspect you to somehow letting him in and making it appear like an accident..."
"W-why would I ever do that? I do EVERYTHING to keep this place saf- I mean, I do everything to make it not TOO dangerous..."
"To be honest, I can't blame you, sir. I felt slightly bad whenever I saw him standing around out there."
"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING."
Obviously no one believed him, but since they weren't able to PROVE anything, they began with the daily schedule. All except of Dave, who didn't have a schedule, for understandable reasons.
And as Old Sport expected
(hoped)
Dave was already sticking to him comparable to a forgotten piece of chewed gum to a table.
"What'cha want eggplant? There isn't anything really interesting happening in the morning. You never missed out on anything, no matter what you think."
"Just being here with you is entertaining enough!"
Hit by the genuine tone, the Orange Guy clenched his fist as to not rip off the mask in order to see his face.
Was he making fun of him?
Was this manipulation?
Purple Guy continued, his voice slightly out of tune. "E-eh, anyways, what even are your responsibilities as manager? I know the basics, I m-mean... I actually want to know what your plan for this place is."
"Plan?" Sheepishly scratching the back of his head, he laughed. "Do I look like a man with a plan?"
"Well, let's say the last few times I met you, you were excellent at making certain things happen..."
"Is there a hint of doubt in your voice? I just got lucky and was basically told what to do anyways, so don't even pretend that I'm some sort of secret mastermind!"
"That's what I would say, if I were a secret mastermind!" Teasingly he rebutted. "Okay, my question is rather what kind of restaurant you want... because from nightclub to small-but-charming establishment all routes are currently available."
Carefully hiding his smile behind a fake sigh, Old Sport leaned against the wall and watched employees and machines busily preparing the place for opening time.
"Why do you care? It's not as if you'd actually want me to be successful, you HATE Freddy's!"
"Not if it's your Freddy's. I changed my mind quite a bit, I said it again and again. If you're turning this place into a strip club though, I might have to burn it to the ground."
"Weren't you the one who offered me Vegas and Hookers if I worked with him?"
"Yeah, but I wouldn't want to LIVE in Vegas. Seriously, if Vegas would always be as great as it is the first three days I wouldn't be-"
Dave wanted to say that he wouldn't be here in that case, but his throat refused to let such a giant lie through. Coughing he tried to change topic. "Right now it looks as if you're going the simple route of oh-that-thing-is-shiny-I-wanna-have, which I don't blame you for... but seriously, keep an eye on your demographic, because that chicken is going to cause A LOT of trouble."
He signed towards Chica, who had leaned uncomfortably close to Phone Guy and watched the poor man trying to get space between himself and the animatronic. Once Freddy joined the cyborg completely lost his temper and told both of them off into their respective corners. Apparently, judging by the things he screamed, Freddy and Chica each wanted to know who of them was more attractive.
Dream or nightmare? Well, this version wasn't the yiffer-type at least on the surface, so Sportsy decided to pity the man. Purple Guy only snickered.
"I planned her to be... distracting."
"How did you even manage to make so many robots?!"
"Admittedly, most of them weren't REALLY built by me, but I made the blueprints and instructions. Most animatronics still get customized by whoever wants to use them, so many machines that aren't all that different... they'll get another color and name, while staying the same model."
Orange Guy shortly closed his eyes and enjoyed the incredible relaxation that simply talking to his old friend--- foe brought him.
"Hey, if... u-uh..." He wasn't sure what he planned to say. "Well... you know... uh..."
Surprised Dave leaned forward, focusing all of his attention onto him. "What is it?"
"If... the kids find out you're in here, we'll have much competition for their attention... ahaha..."
Between confused and amused the bunny man petted him softly. "You should sleep a bit more, maybe then you won't lose your focus so easily. Go into the cabinet and rest up! I'll keep an eye on things in here!"
With a motivated thumps-up, Dave friendly shoved him outside.
But once he closed the door between them, a sick nausea was taking control of him. This was all too familiar in a way he hated more than anything. It was as if as soon as Old Sport left the place it became nothing. The air tasted like rot and dust. The noises in the background became unbearable empty static.
Yes, Phone Guy was still here, the robots were the same and nothing had changed with his surroundings, but suddenly everything was pointless, repeating garbage. Struggling against the impulse to tear every moving object apart, he leaned against the door, as if to keep it closed.
Phoney had noticed his odd behavior and came closer, only stopped by Dave's serious shaking of the head.
If he would come over, he might get rid of him without really wanting it.
The saferoom was calling.
But... that wasn't possible, right?
He couldn't take it, what was wrong with him?!
Fleeing outside, his breath was clipped when he almost squished the Orange Guy, who had curled up inside of the hundred pillows.
"Argh, Dave! I'm trying to sleep!"
"Sorry... Phoney threw me out after I tried to reprogram the arcades to display subliminal messages..."
"Ha! What a doofus! We'll reprogram them later, alright?" Snuggling into him, Dave could feel the laughter through his skin.
The world returned to normal and his overreacting senses calmed down. Softly he stroked over Sportsy's hair and closed his eyes for a good nap.
When he awaked he wasn't sure if he was still inside of the world of illusions.
"Psst!"
"Yeah, yeah, we're careful! How about you stop being such a pussy?"
"Let's not fight... what is it you wanted to show me?"
"I... I don't really think it's a good idea..."
"Goddamn, Mary! Fine! You stay here and make sure no one finds us, okay? I promised Isaac to show him our awesome discovery, so please don't ruin this!"
Discovery...?
What was there to discover in a dirty back alley?
His body didn't respond and really Dave didn't care that much anyway. It was far too warm and comfortable in here to stand up. Maybe the kids found an old generator or something... Kids were easy to impress.
Still, there was something odd about this.
In the distance there was... something.
Screeching?
It sounded mechanical...
Weird.
Shortly he weighed his options. If he did something he might save the children and could again prove how much of a changed person he was... or he could pretend that he hadn't heard anything, just like Old Sport.
If he did that and something bad actually happened...
Old Sport would be horrified that he himself hadn't done anything, that he failed again!
And it would make him blame himself and feel guilty for weeks!
Which would make it easy to further establish himself as Sportsy's emotional support!
YES! He would just need to pretend to be just as shocked and sad as his friend, pretend to try to take the blame away or at least share it, making Old Sport feel more connected to him!
There was no way in hell he'd move.
This was PERFECT.
Wait, would there be a chance Old Sport would think he planned whatever was going to happen? Probably not, after all it was nearly impossible to get out of this position without Orange Guy waking up.
Some mumbling in the distance.
Funny, somehow he had to think of ice cream...
If you wanted to make children come closer, there was nothing better than having something weird about you and ice cream. It might be quite ironic, but if he thought about it, more children were attracted by his creepy look, instead of being repelled by it.
Some of course, but... if he was a normal looking dude, he probably never would have managed to kill this many children at once.
With robots it was different though...
That was why he gave one of his creation an ice cream dispenser... together with the metal claw.
Silently he wondered what became of them, after all he never could return into his old home. Maybe he should one day try to check it out.
A slight cough came from his partner, as he woke up. Yawning he sat up, rubbing his eyes. His voice was heavy with sleepiness, making Dave grin from ear to ear. "What time is it...?"
"I don't know, but it can't be too late, right? Phoney hasn't stormed in yet, so I think we're fine to relax a while..."
"Wait, did you hear that?" Old Sport began standing up, wiping the grin straight off Dave's face.
"No?"
"There's... something out there!"
"I don't think so, but hey, I'm the one wearing a thick, heavy suit on my head..."
They climbed out of their love nest- uh, sleeping place and once they were out, they spotted a slightly pale Mary, who grew even paler at the sight of them.
"A-ah! H-hey..."
"Mary! What are you doing here so early? Isn't your mom getting angry if you spend so much time here?"
"I... u-uh, I just... we came a little earlier..."
"We?"
"Y-yeah, Oliver and Isaac fell a bit behind... I'm going to get them!" Quickly she ran off, but of course the adults could easily keep up with her. Her words apparently had been loud enough though, as the boys were alone, pretending to be walking towards them.
On the ground behind them, Dave noticed a mechanical eye, but decided to check it out later on his own.
"What were you doing back here?" A soft tone of worry was hidden inside those words, as Orange Guy crouched down to better see into the children's faces.
Oliver stepped a little in front of his friend and shrugged. "Oh, I and Isaac were just planning our next adventure, an adventure that Mary is going to be too big of a pussy for! That's why we said she should go ahead..."
Isaac was staring down the ground, absently minded, not reacting at all, until Dave nudged him to the side. "A-ah! Excuse me, I'm still a bit dizzy... yes... what Oliver said..."
Nervously the pale boy shortly looked back, as if he was searching for something, despite knowing that it wasn't there anymore.
"Come on, let's all go inside!" Friendly Old Sport smiled at his companions, managing to actually shortly grab their attention.
"We can enter the restaurant?"
"Bunny-man is allowed inside?"
"FINALLY OUT OF THIS DIRT!"
Cheering and without waiting for any answer, they rushed inside the warmth, ready to claim some space for themselves. Dave snickered and took his partner's hand, before he could check out the area. "Hurry up Sportsy, or Phoney will get to the children and bore them to death!"
"They're... acting really strange, aren't they?"
"Ya think? Maybe you're the strange one! Question: When was the last time you took cocaine?"
"What does THAT have to do with anything?!"
"SEE! That's the problem! You need to relax more! The world is fun!" Confidently he walked past him, giving him a heartfelt slap on the booty, making the smaller man almost trip forward.
"DAVE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Burning red and feeling slightly molested, he watched the bunny-zombie enter the building. One more time Old Sport muttered under his breath. "Dave... you... eggplant!"
Following them at last, he didn't knew what to expect when he opened the door. Probably that the kids were glued to the arcade, Dave strangling some customers and Phone Guy crying in despair.
What he didn't expect though...
"MARY HAD A LITTLE SHEEP? HA! MARY HAD A GIANT ROBOT!"
Apparently it was Mary standing atop of Candy Cadette, who had grown almost as large as the places roof, blinking red and talking in his terminator voice. Also, was that a bazooka?!
"I AM CANDY CADETTE. PROTECTOR OF CANDY EMPRESS MARY."
He aimed and locked onto the almost small appearing Freddy, who was carrying Oliver on his back. The boy was screaming back. "TRY HITTING US YOU PUNK!"
As the gun had loaded, a barrage of sound barrier-breaking, overly sugary bullets were fired, yet in less than the blink of an eye the bear had activated some hidden jetpacks under his feet, burning everything approximately half a meter next to him. Sassy he swung his finger, now flying freely in the air. "Honey, you gotta stand up earlier than that to get us!"
"Robot death fight! Robot death fight! Get it going, boys~!" Funtime Chica cheered on the stage, striking the poses a cheerleader would.
"GO FREDSTER! WE'LL PUNCH 'EM DEAD!" With a glorious battle scream, both charged into and around the giant terminator, who was having a hard time keeping up with it. Mary on the other hand had taken out a candy-mini-gun and began to try to hit their engine.
"I WAS LITERALLY GONE FOR ONE MINUTE, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" Old Sport gave his best to make himself heard, yet no one cared amongst all that other screaming going on.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAaAAaAAaAaaAAAAAAAAAAA!" Phoney ran past him, obviously on fire, while Lefty chased after him with a bucket filled with water, but his clumsy nature, together with some faulty wiring forcing the thing to continuously laugh in a monotone manner, made it look like a twisted murder plan.
At least Isaac appeared safe, as he was protected by the Security Puppet, who had wrapped around him tightly. Weakly the human waved at him, signing that he hadn't yet suffered the loving death of suffocating due to protection.
What the HELL was he supposed to do?!
"GO CANDY CADETTE! USE COTTON CANDY TO MAKE THEIR WEAPONS STICKY!" Mary threw her now empty weapon away and jumped over, hanging onto Candy Cadette's arm, trying to avoid the hot cheese stream that her brother was shooting at her.
Quickly the giant machine nodded and began spinning rapidly, covering everything around them, including the burning Guard and manager in sugary goodness. At least this helped Marion to catch up and splash the cyborg with the much needed water. Now Phoney was burnt, wet and slightly caramelized, but alive!
Finally, a flash of purple!
God, he had never felt this glad before to see him!
Purple Guy was standing next to Chica, applauding and high-fiving as if there weren't close to ultimate destruction.
"DAVE! SINCE WHEN CAN ROCKSTAR FREDDY FLY?!"
"Ah, I just thought it would be fun!"
"DO SOMETHING! THEY'LL DESTROY THIS WHOLE PLACE! WE'LL GET SUED!"
"What do I get for it~?"
"Please Dave, this is our home!" Hearing those words made the insides of the suit visibly lit up. Shortly Old Sport wondered if he did something stupid, but another explosion quickly changed his mind. "Can't you do anything to keep this safe?!"
"Not really..."
"These are your creations! PLEASE!"
Softly laughing, Aubergine Man petted his head. "Chica is far more equipped for this kind of situation! Chica, be a sweetheart and do your specialty!"
"Ah, do I have to...? I hate that~ If it's for you though, how can I say no~?" She danced into the middle of the chaos, twirled one last time, winked at Old Sport and posed dramatically.
Immediately, every animatronic broke down and stopped moving, including the oddly promiscuous chicken herself.
It became quiet for a second, as the screams and explosion that had filled the filled air before died down. Now the customers settled back down, as if nothing happened... not that it was too weird of a behavior for someone who visited Freddy's, but still it felt awkward to see them so casually accepting this mess.
Chica had stood back up and rubbed her temple. "Ah~ Sweet pain! Worse than the last time I got vodka and water confused~ You owe me one for this!"
"Of course! But I think it's more of Old Sport's burden, after all was he the one who failed to keep an eye on the situation!"
Somewhat bothered, said manager watched the completely deactivated machines in the place, before walking over to Phone Guy and trying to wake him up. "Why... why is Chica able to do that?"
"Well, she... to be exact, she's part of a series of more advanced machines I planned to build. Those animatronics were supposed to be far more aware and capable then the older models. Since that comes with a huge risk for someone like me..."
"... A child murdering psychopath..."
"... I had to take precaution in case they suddenly wanted to attack me all together. Though... it never came to that, since my life was TRAGICALLY cut SHORT by some springtraps. I rented Chica off before, to test her abilities with humans and children. I guess since they couldn't give her back, they simply decided to sell her... Lazy bastards."
"So... more aware and capable means to you...?"
"Doesn't matter. They never really got finished... Maybe they're still trapped somewhere, maybe someone found them, maybe they're all broken by now."
Dave noticed some form of curiosity lighten up Old Sport's eyes and smirked to himself. In a few hours or days, that guy would beg him to find them and bring them here.
Oddly enough though, the man said nothing and went around reactivating the machines and cheering up the confused kids. Mary was especially disappointed.
"I was so close to beat Oliver! What did you do?!"
"You were so close to setting everyone on fire, young lady!"
Pouting she crossed her arms. "... okay... sorry..."
Oliver was still getting over almost breaking his neck as he crashed down and clutched Rockstar Freddy close, without saying a word. Feeling slightly guilty, Orange Guy petted his head. "He'll be up in a minute, don't worry. Please don't fly around with him though..."
At last he checked up on Isaac, who had fought himself free, an amazed expression on his face. "That was astounding! W-was that electromagnetics, o-or-?"
"Don't ask me! I know how to successfully yiff a fox, but I sure as heck don't know how to deactivate all electrical stuff at once." Swiftly he picked up the security puppet and reactivated the machine.
Wait, if this puppet was deactivated-
Quickly he rushed back to Marion, embarrassed that he didn't think about him being deactivated. Somehow he just expected him to be immune, despite there being no reason for that.
He reactivated that machine, as well the suit he was wearing (same rules for everybody), but while busy with that Phone Guy rose from the ground, once more screaming.
"WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! ARE YOU F-F-FFFFF- HECKING KIDDING ME!"
"Why are you mad? At least no one died!"
"NO! FRICK OFF! BE QUIET! THIS IS TOO MUCH! I'M FINE WITH FIGHTING OFF GIANT ROBOTS, I'M FINE WITH REGULAR HARASSMENT BY TODDLERS, BUT WHEN THEY TEAM UP IT'S ENOUGH!"
"Phoney... c'mon it wasn't-"
"NO MORE! I QUIT! I'M OUT! GOODBYE!"
"You can't quit, you'll go back to the factory! You'd die!"
"EVERYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS! I SMELL LIKE COTTON CANDY! I HATE THIS!"
"Cotton candy is awesome!"
"NO! IT ISN'T! I'M AWAY NOW! GOODBYE!"
The man stormed off, shaking in rage and shock, watched by everyone.
Dave whistled. "Wew, never seen a Phoney giving up this quickly. Should I call the factory?"
"No, no... let's give him the rest of the week..."
"You're far too soft. He's obviously malfunctioning!"
"I said NO. Now, get moving and distract the customers, steal their cash, whatever. I... I'll ask Peter for advice."
"Who the fuck is Peter?" Zombie-bunny's voice was nothing more than a growl.
"Dude, it's our old boss. The Phone Guy I worked with?"
"Fucking hated that cancerous cock. He's still alive?"
"Yes and it will stay that way, Dave, or you'll be in big trouble."
"Old Sport! What are you thinking of me?! He isn't worth leaving your side anyway..."
This somehow managed to make Sportsy completely forget about his anger, which was making him immediately mad again, this time at himself. Silently he swore at himself and turned away. "See you in a few minutes, take care and don't do anything bad. If you feel like doing anything bad, come to me."
"Convenient if I want to do something... """"""""BAD"""""""" to you~"
"Shut it! See you later." Humiliated by his own stupidity, Old Sport dashed off, feeling more helpless than ever. He didn't function well by himself.
When he left the place he called his home for at least twenty years, he hadn't expected ever calling this number by himself. Naturally it didn't even beep, his call was accepted without a second between dialing it in.
"Hello, hello? Peter is speaking?"
"Hey, Peter, it's me..."
"Jack! Finally! How are you doing? How is the restaurant?"
"I'm... argh, I won't lie, I have some troubles and wanted to ask you for help..."
"Anything! Where's the problem?"
"Haha... uh... alright... how do I bring this up...?"
"Take your time, I'm here for a while."
"Uh... you... remember Dave?"
"What's that for a question?! Of course! Harasser, stalker, kiddie-strangle, purple and wore the rabbit-suit, right?"
"Yeah, he kinda... somewhat... escaped?"
"WHAT?"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"I DON'T HECKING BELIEVE YOU!"
"COME ON, I'M BETTER THAN THAT!"
"I'll be over in five hours, don't move! We're going to catch that heck of a frick!"
"N-no!"
"What?"
"We... can't?" Silence on the other end of the receiver made it obvious that he would have to explain a lot. Taking a deep breath, Sportsy gave his only request. "Just let me talk for a while, okay?"
Ten minutes passed and Peter was broken. "The puppet and the killer both came back. Holy... holy. You really want to ask ME how to deal with that?!"
"You have a wife, you know what love is like!"
"Mother of god, Dave isn't able to feel love!"
"So, he's manipulating me?"
"... I don't think he's smart enough for that kind of thing. No, not smart, but... I can't describe it. He's not that type of guy who comes up with those things. He'd probably just try to kill you..."
"He likes me?!"
"That... uh... gosh... maybe. Maybe he likes you in some screwed way, but that doesn't mean you can count on him! He's moody and touchy, easily changes his mind and gets dangerous pretty darn fast. I wouldn't try to use feelings against him."
"I can't help it."
"Jack... how about I visit? I swear, I won't cause trouble with Dave, I only... you sound lonely. He's a bad influence and I want to make sure he isn't... harming you."
"No! I'm fine, I'm not that weak!"
"It's not about being weak, it's..."
"If you want to help me, there's actually something else. The Phone Guy that works from me... after being accidently getting caught in the crossfire of an robot war, being set on fire and caramelized, he decided to quit..."
"He can't quit! He's legally obliged to work or be executed!"
"Yes, that's why I hoped you could help him. He's a very kind, young man and it would be a SHAME if something bad happens to him."
"You sound awfully nonchalant about this!"
"Because I trust that you'll be able to change his mind!"
"Jack... fine. Give me the number, I'll call him later."
Smiling admittedly relieved Orange Guy slowly read out the numbers, deciding to end the conversation off on a more positive note. "Now that I've got you to do my dirty work, how's Caroline? And the doggos?"
"Oh, they're all fine, don't worry!"
"Make sure to give all of them a big hug and tell them that I miss them!"
"Ha, you don't have to tell me to do that, I'd done it anyway."
"Huh, then better give them all a good smack-down, I don't want to be that predictable, haha!"
"Jack... predictability is the LAST thing you have to worry about. Now tell me, what does your restaurant look like? I remember you mentioned "robot wars" and I'd like to hear the story about that one..."
"Oh, it was great! We bought a Rockstar Freddy that acted like a real rockstar and fucked us all over, until Dave reprogrammed him to be more like a DIVA, which was better... only slightly, but better. While at it, he apparently gave him rockets for feet and so two of the three children we hang often out with-"
"WE? You and Dave?"
"Shut up, I keep an eye on him, I'm perfectly able to keep bad things from happening! Now, where was I... the two siblings began to go to war and Candy Cadette turned into an transformer that shot sweets, trying to hit the smaller robot, while the kiddens were giving their best battle screams. Customers were screaming as well, but they stayed in place so I guess it wasn't that bad for them..."
"It's really weird how resilient people are once they enter Freddy's. Do you have arcade games?"
"Tons of them!"
"Hopefully all microtransactioned! They shall pay for having fun!"
"But then they wouldn't come that often! Don't worry the best ones cost money... mawahaha!"
"That's what I like to hear! Back to my offer before, I really would like to see you again, Jack and also I would love to see the great business you build for yourself. When do you have time?"
"If you put it that way, how can I say no? As long as you play nice, you're welcome~ This week is a bit busy, how about we-"
Suddenly the phone was ripped away from Old Sport's hands and Dave, who had sneaked up and apparently eavesdropped on the conversation took over.
"Why hello there, Phone-fuck. What are you two talking about? I'm REALLY interested..."
"D-dave?"
"G-give me the phone back, Dave, this isn't funny!"
"I'm not trying to be funny, Sportsy. Listen here, fucking piece of trash-metal, you better stay away from here. I remember you and I know that if Old Sport would have stepped out of line for a second, you'd sold him off to the police like nobody's business... or would you have springtrapped him? Whatever it would have been, you'd have done it without even pretending to feel bad. Not even for that you EVER had the courtesy, you cancerous waste of human flesh. You might have fooled him, but not me. I fucking hate you. The only reason I'm not coming to rip you apart limb by limb is that it isn't worth the time you'd take away from me, BUT if you EVER come close to my restaurant and my Old Sport, there won't be words able to describe the torture you'd go through! Not only you, but your oh so lovely wife as well... And your dogs. And your neighbors. AND WHOEVER THE FUCK EVER TALKED TO YOU! I DON'T FUCKING CARE, I'LL THINK OF A NEW DEATH FOR ALL THE CUNTS WHO EVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU!"
It went silent after this violent eruption from side of the psycho, who began to snicker. "You're a fucking pussy, Phoney. You're a bloody cockroach staining my and Old Sport's ears! If you know what's good for you, you never call here again."
"Jack was the one calling me."
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PICK IT UP NOW, DID YOU?! I feel sick from talking to you, ahahaha, this wasn't worth it at all. Gotta wash of the stench hypocrite now, goodbye and until hopefully never! Well, if I think about it, come over ANYTIME! Visit us! I'd LOVE to MEAT you! I'm sure even you'd find it KNIFE!"
Distraught the Orange Man tried once more to snatch the phone. "Y-you said it all wrong! It's supposed to at least somewhat resemble the original word!"
"He wouldn't get it otherwise!"
"Dave, give me the phone back NOW!"
"No." Cold Dave stared down at him, his glow almost completely vanished. He was dead serious.
"I need to... I gave him a task, let me at least give him a last... objective..."
"Fucking hell, Sportsy, I listened to your stupid conversation. Are you really trying to lie to my face?"
"A-ah..."
"Don't be scared. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's nothing I can't take care of myself!"
"W-well, it's about our Phone Guy..."
"I'll get him back here, no problem! Ahaha, see, this is much EASIER, isn't it? I'm far better at getting things done!"
"NO. He'll do it more diplomatic and I don't want our employee to hate us. Please, let me at least say goodbye to him..."
Slowly and unwilling Dave reached back down and let his partner take it away. Without blinking once, he kept focused on the smaller guy.
"You said you'd be able to handle it." Peter sounded pretty disillusioned and was talking silent enough for Purple Guy to not understanding it.
"I got the phone back. Go and take care of the other Phone Guy... thank you for doing that. I'm sure he'll thank you AS WELL."
A short click sounded. "A-ah, you mean..." Even more silent he continued. "... in case you need me, he can call me and talk about whatever you need?"
"Goodbye! Hurry with my employee, before anything bad happens to him, yes?"
"Goodbye."
Exhausted Old Sport leaned back, glancing at Dave who still hasn't blinked once. "What was that about?!"
"Hahaha, did I scare you? Sorry! That piece of shit always make me freak out... don't be mad, pls~"
He moved in for a hug and the second it took for Sportsy to consider if this was something he could tolerate, was the second he was already swooped into his arms. Pressed against fur and metal, there wasn't anything he could really do to get out, so he stayed quiet... not because he would ever enjoy this, being hugged by someone for the first time in decades, not that his heart was racing, if, then it was because of fear, this was horrible! What was he supposed to do?! This went south far too quick to be considered ignorable...
"Hm, Sportsy, relax! I wouldn't do anything bad to you!" Softly Dave cradled him from side to side.
"I consider threatening my friends as bad... "
"He isn't your fucking friend. He used you. It's time to accept reality, my dear. If you had done one thing he hadn't liked, you'd be springlocked like every other employee that crossed him. I've seen it more than often enough."
"I can pick my own god damn friends!"
"How rude! This is a Christian restaurant and you're walking a thin line, buddy!"
"You're actually managing to wear me out..."
"Oh! What's my reward?!"
"Watching me sleep." Those words were drenched in sarcasm, yet that didn't manage to faze the insane stalker.
"OH FUCK YEAH! OFFICIAL LICENSE TO STARE AT SPORTSY! YES, THIS IS ALL I NEEDED!"
This wasn't even worth getting weirded out over. Better use that mood to be lazy! "Carry me to bed!"
Ecstatic the request was granted and Old Sport asked himself what he should do about this situation.
But WAIT, did he HAVE to do something about the situation?! It wasn't REALLY his responsibility, right? Keeping as many people safe as possible, yeah, but THIS was actually fine, wasn't it? If he was a working distraction, then it was better to keep it that way-
There was no way he could get through with that reasoning. It was time to face the music and accept that he-
NO, NO, NOPE, HE COULD JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT! NO, NOPE, NO! BAD TOUCH AND ALL THOSE SAFE WORDS!
The Marionette was watching them, he could feel an icy stare from the other side of the building, but he wasn't coming over, so it probably wasn't too bad, right?
Right.
Were Mary and the others still over?
Did it really matter?
Slowly he felt as if Dave had found a way to infect his brain. Oh dear god. It was fine, he was just tired. He slept far too little, having to deal with the customers, children and robots at day and Dave at night.
That actually managed to make sense.
It all made sense.
This was fun.
It was okay. He'd make sure it wouldn't go too far. It couldn't go too far.
Not if it was this much fun.

-------------------------------------

A/N:
Ah... the reality hit way harder than expected how severely I actually butchered the DsaF universe... my bad, but it's too late to change it... also the real lore is too depressing for my fragile heart anyways :v I guess I just hope that you enjoy my own version of everyone... (geez, my freaking worries are getting bothersome, you wouldn't be here if you wouldn't enjoy it ^^")
On the topic of "own versions"... I found two neat blogs through the lord and dog himself! They are pretty fun in my opinion, so if you feel like you need more Dave in your life, then you should check them out!
https://dsaf-dave-appreciation-blog.tumblr.com/
https://day-shit.tumblr.com/
Enjoy the quality memes over there until next month! x3