Truth In Words ✓[Secrets Book 3]

[Chapter Twenty] Liam

            Silence is a girls loudest cry.
                     You know she's really hurt
             When she starts ignoring you

Chapter Twenty – Liam

I had to pretend every day that it wasn't killing me and it was hard and I could see by the bags under everyone's eyes that her nightmares were worse, especially hers. She looked like a zombie as she moved around. The light was leaving her eyes and she looked tired all the time.

Rylan was getting on my damn nerves because you can see that he adores her and that isn't his job, it's mine. I didn't want to see her with anyone else and it was killing me when I would see them out together.

I was leaving work one day and they were walking out of the movies hand and hand and when I saw her next I had to pretend it didn't bother me, not that she was buying it. She hasn't said a word to me in two weeks and I know it's going to kill me but I made a decision.

After about a week I started going over there and I would climb into bed with her and hold her all night, neither of us said anything it was just unspoken between us.

It was understood that this was how it was going to be and that we weren't to speak of it and during the day we acted like it didn't happen. We both knew they all knew I was staying the night without us having to say anything because they've all tried sleeping with her and she still wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm the only one who takes the nightmares away.

I had been sleeping with her every day for a two weeks and it was tearing me apart when I left first thing in the morning. Sometimes she was awake first and would pretend she was asleep and sometimes I did that too just to hold her longer but it always ended the same, with me leaving.

When I went into work one day they told me construction was starting on the building I helped with and asked if I wanted to go over for three months to see it through, any other time I would have said hell no but I needed the change so I accepted.

My parents were thrilled that I got this opportunity and Asher was shocked and skeptical but congratulated me with the promise not to tell anyone else, I needed to tell Addie myself.

I waited for her to wake up the next morning and she looked at me sleepily

"Hey beautiful." I said and she looked confused, I didn't blame her we haven't talked in weeks

"Hi." She croaked back

"We need to talk." I told her and she sat up and nodded. I looked her over and she was looking a lot better. Hey eyes were brighter and it didn't look like has two black eyes anymore.

"Okay." She said slowly

"I'm leaving." I told her and her mouth formed and her eyes got wide and the sadness in them was killing me. But while she was working on her I needed to work on me too. It wasn't fair to either of us and the separation would do us good.

"Oh." She said

"I'm leaving in a couple days and I needed to tell you that myself." She nodded and I wiped the tears from her face

"So this is goodbye?" she asked but she wouldn't look at me

"No, I'll be here at night and I'll see you again in three months. I think the space is going to be good for us and when I get back you can tell me how you feel about us, okay?" I asked her and she nodded and I let her hug me and I laid back down with her.

"I'll miss you." she whispered

"I'll miss you too."

"Why are you going?" she asked

"I got a big opportunity with work."

"Well I'm happy for you, I'm sad, but I'm happy for you and I'm so proud of you." she told me softly and she kissed my chest.

"You're killing me." I told her

"Sorry." She mumbled and I held her as tight as I could without hurting her and kissed her forehead

"It will go by faster than you think." I told her and her shoulders shook while she sobbed

"Please don't cry." I hated when she cried

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I looked down at her, one arm still wrapped behind her head and I wiped the tears away with my other hand.

"But I am, I'm a mess." She complained

"Even when you're crying you're beautiful too." I told her and she clutched onto me and buried her face in my chest and I did what I never thought I would ever do, I sat there and ran my hands through her hair as I sang to her.

I sang this song for the second time to her and all the words rang true. I wanted all of her, I wanted the good, bad, beautiful and as she put it, damaged. But I didn't think she was damaged. I wanted her for her past for her right now and for the future we could have together.

I'm so in love with her that it hurts, it hurts that she thinks that she's unlovable, it hurts me when she cries, it hurts me when she has nightmares and it hurts me to see what she had to go through.

Keisha moved beside us and licked my face and I groaned.

"He's too big for this bed." I told her and she smiled affectionately at the large dog. I cringed when he stepped on my stomach and went over to her to lick her too

"So heavy." I heaved

"Don't be a big baby." She teased and Keisha moved against the wall and she turned to cuddle with him and I wrapped my arms around her from behind.

It was perfect and painful for me but I wished we could wake up like this every morning, maybe when I got back we could.

Addie and I stopped avoiding each other and spent as much time together as we could before I left and we took Hadley and Connelly out which is something we haven't had time to do and they loved being able to have such space to run around. We didn't hold hands or kiss, we just talked and If that's what I could get from her it's what I'm happy with.