Time has slowed to a crawl.
Or maybe the units I'm measuring it in have just grown.
It's been seconds since I last saw you, or has it been years?
A glance at my calendar tells me it's been two and a half months,
but somehow I know that if I'd seen you yesterday it would feel even longer.
I feel a little bit emptier every time I think of you without being allowed to touch you, talk to you, verify that you exist.
It's like there's an infinite puddle inside my heart that's slowly dripping away-
there's plenty of you still here, but I still feel like our well is going dry.
I try to think of our last moment together,
when we were close enough that I could reach out to hold you,
but all I can remember is the screenshot of that news article I texted you last week and the way you laughed when I told you that joke when we FaceTimed last month.
I know this is better than nothing,
that if I didn't tell you about the disastrous decisions of obscure world leaders,
no one else would,
that no one else can tell you a joke and make you laugh the way I can,
but I feel cheated.
I feel like I deserve more of you than I'm getting,
I deserve more than a Snapchat streak and conversations carried out over text message,
and it's selfish of me to think this when you deserve more than pictures of my baby brothers and screenshots of news articles,
but maybe I am a little selfish.
I know the distance between us is the result of our circumstances and the time, the never ending time that always seems to run out, that we never have enough of,
but I feel like it's my fault.
I feel like I should have done more,
and I know that it takes two to form a relationship,
but sometimes it only takes one to keep it breathing until the right time.
Maybe you should have done more, too,
even though there's nothing wrong,
we're doing fine,
you texted me yesterday and I replied,
you're coming to my dance recital next month.
We deserve more.
I deserve more of you,
but time has slowed to a crawl and the distance between our visits is only getting longer.
YOU ARE READING
The New Sappho
PoesíaI like people, people I barely know partially dreamed into being (-but dreams are the best sort of reality). I'm a girl and I like girls, boys, and people in general and I write poems about it and them. There's really not much more to it. All poem...
