Ripped Away~ Zach Herron x all the boys

Suck it up

             I'm the type of person who wakes up in the morning wondering what it would be like when I returned to my bed in the evening. 

I stumbled out of bed and stepped into the bathroom me, Jonah, and Corbyn all shared. It was around 10 am so the two should be downstairs with the rest of the boys. I stepped into the shower and felt the warm droplets of water hit my skin repeatdley. I thought about the long, dragging, day I had in front of me. 

We were writing a song with the Logan Paul today. A hyper blonde male with no chill. 

fun. Im so exicted. 

I was a mello person. I was the quite one. I liked peace and quite because my thought were already loud enough. So writing a song with Logan is not my idea of 'fun' but who cares about a quite 15 year old's opinion? Exactly. 

I got out of the shower and changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a pastel pink hoodie paired with checkered vans. I blow dried my hair and styled it in my classical quiff.  

I jogged downstairs to be meet with the faces of my four band members. 

''Finally.'' Corbyn said, I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen.  I walked over to the cabinet and attempted to reach up and grab a glass. I heard the boys in the back ground snicker. 

Jonah walked over and grabbed a glass and handed it to me, slightly chuckling. I looked up at him and whispered, '' Thank you.'' softly. '' No problem Z.'' Jonah smiled, and kissed me on the top of my head and waked back to the living room. Thats what all the boys did, kissed me on top of my head,cheek,temple. They thought I was so small and cute. Even tho I had a much different opinion. 

I was more short and fat and ugly. 

They also picked me up a lot. I'm surprised they could fucking pick me up. But I knew why. i was the baby of the group. I hated that but it was true.

                                                                    * At logans *

''THUS MA BOISSSS.'' Logan screamed as we walked inside his penthouse apartment. You think with the amount of money is guy makes he would live in his own house.I wanted to cover my ears, but instead I smiled and gave him a bro-hug. 

Fake just like you.

Shut up mind. At least let me go three hours without this. 

In your dreams fag

What ever. 

I turned my focus back to the five older males in front of me to see Daniel giving me the side eye, the,'' what are you doing pay attention'' look and the '' are you okay'' Look mixed toghter. I ignored his blue eyes burning holes into my head and looked down.

Luckily Logan was to oblivious and excited to pay attention to me and lead us outisde. Outside was all his love sacks in a pile and a ramp. 

The boys took turn jumping and doing flips while I stood off to the side. Logan's manager Jeff walked by and raised his eyebrow. '' You okay Zach ?'' he asked, still looking at me with his eyebrow raised. I nodded and said,'' Yeah I just don't like these types of things.'' Then I gusertred to the 5 boys flipping, jumping, and laughing. He juts nodded and walked away and I realized I basically just said I don't like having  fun.

Great job fag. Now he thinks you weird

My eyes teared up at the thought. It's crazy how your mind is sometimes the greatest enemy. 

 After the boys were done with there useless joking around they came back inside and sat down on the couch to start writing the song, we were working with Logan on a song. more like jack, Jonah, Corbyn and Daniel and Logan working and me fighting with my mind, but its whatever. 

They began talking as I drew the outline of a boy falling from the sky. I wasn't good at drawing, but I enjoyed the relief it gave me. It was a close second to music of what calms me down. 

'' Zach what are you doing ? '' Corbyn asked, and suddenly everyone was staring at me. '' N nothing.'' I stuttered, hating the attention suddenly focused my way. '' W wheres t the b bath r room ? '' I asked standing up. Logan pointed in the direction of his room and I hurried to the bathroom where I broke down in tears. 

Fucking baby.

And once more my mind is right. i am a baby, crying out being asked a question. How does that ? I felt useless, scared, and most of all, tired. I just wanted to go home, or anywhere. but i cant leave. I know I cant. I waited a few more minutes before stepping out of the bathroom to here them whispereing, whispereing about me. 

'' Whats wrong with him ?''        '' Nothing. He just easily flustered.''     " But I just asked a question.''          '' So ?''             '' Guys stop. Hes 15. He'll suck it up.''

Suck it up. 

The sad thing was it wasn't Logan who said that. It was Jack. 

What's wrong with him ? 

That was Corbyn who said that. 

The fact they talked about me is what hurt the most. We promised to never talk behind each others back or lie. But that's just what they did.

Of course they did. your just the extra little bitch they looked after. Your the child and there the baby sitters.

Maybe I am.