Ripped Away~ Zach Herron x all the boys

'' They wont notice.''

         I can hide my sadness with a smile, I can do it for awhile.

            I walked back into the room and they all fell silent. I simply sat down as the tension grew, soon it was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

Cut yourself with a knife

Really mind? 

Really you ugly bitch. 

I sighed and tried not to give away the fact I just cried in the bathroom. And soon enough Logan started up a conversation about the song. Corbyn joined as well as Jonah but Jack stared at me, as if he was trying to read my mind. 

He would be in tears if he read my mind. 

 I avoided his  obvious attempts to gain my attention and I heard him sigh, sigh at my weak attempt to acknowledge him. 

The five boys continued on with there discussion, me nodding my head in agreement at every question thrown at me.  The base line of the song was how difficult a girl is, how shes mello dramatic about every thing and anything. 

Kinda like you

shut up mind. I don't have time for you. 

Ahhhh yet you listen to me. 

Fuck off. 

'' Zach ? Zach !'' I snapped into reality.'' Yeah ?' I said, half wishing i was talking to my mind even tho it rips me apart. 

What doesn't?

 I ignored my brain and focused on Daniel. '' its time to go Z.'' He said I nodded and waved good bye to Logan as we exited the apartment. '' What was up with you Zach? You weren't yourself.''  I shrugged. '' Just tired ya know ?'' I chuckled to try and sound more believe able, happy even.  I wish I could tell him I don't know myself, but I stayed quite. 

The ride home was quite. The boys all on there phones and me looking out of the window. We got into the drive way and I ran inside an into the bathroom inside Me, Jonah, and Corbyns room. I locked the door and grabbed the razor hidden under my shampoo bottle. I pulled up my sleeve and sliced the pale skin on my left wrist. My thoughts screaming to hurt my self more.

Do it more. They wont notice, they wont care.

Slice. 

They don't love you. 

Slice. 

 This process continued till my wrists had 16 total cuts. I cleaned the blood off the floor with a red hand rag so the blood wouldn't show. I yanked down my sleeve and walked into the bedroom. I put in my ear phones and listened to ' If you want love.' by NF. 

I just need a second I'm tryin to think straight, 

I just need a moment in my own space, 

Ask me how I'm doin I say okay,

yeah, But ain't that what we all say?