Convenience

Part 84

David candidly interrupted, "I am really sorry." 

She thought he sounded sincere. But still, she sighed to herself: Surely he wasn't going to expect her to forgive him. 

"When you think about it, five years ago we barely knew each other." That was true. Hindsight is great. He just wished that he had thought about this, saving his relationship with Beatrice. If only he had taken the time to learn about Beatrice, get to know her. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets and took another breath. "My grandfather was my anchor. I could talk to him. About anything. But when he died, I felt like I was left without a rudder."

She could understand that. She was the same, when her grandfather died. 

He saw, anger dissipate into empathy. "My father has never been a father to me." He said. "My grandfather was my anchor. Always. He was there, for me. He was my anchor." He took a breath. "When my grandfather died, I used to come to your grandfather." he rubbed a hand down his cheeks, mouth and chin, took a breath again, "And then he died." He exhaled. "People I trusted, respected, loved, died within a few months." 

Beatrice felt really sorry for David. He sounded down. Sincere. He had never showed her this side of him. 

He took a breath, "Everything was crumbling around me. Everything. One day I had everything, my life was fine, I knew where I fitted in my life. My grandfather and I had a plan for the family business. Then suddenly, he was gone, and it was down to me." He closed his eyes for a second.  "I wanted to make him proud of me." He said softly. "So I put everything into the business." He needed to keep calm, before his emotions took control. "Just to keep me sane and to make him proud of me." He lowered his eyes. 

She rolled her lips inwards. Took a breath. "In my case, the only family I had, at anytime, was my grandfather." She said softly. "But, staying in a situation where you aren't appreciated, or respected, or loved you, isn't right." Hurt. It took her a lot time to get over this. It was a hard lesson, knowing that your husband cares more about his business then his wife. Of course, she knew she was only his wife because he needed the money. Who she was, meant nothing to him. Beatrice looked straight at him. "It nearly broke my heart."

David raised his eyes and acknowledged that honest statement. "I am so sorry, Beatrice. I didn't react to our situation properly. Didn't really see our situation. I wasn't expecting a wife, just more responsibility. I believed that you weren't expecting a husband. Just someone to look after you. I thought you wanted out of our relationship five years ago, that you didn't care."

She finally whispered, "I am not going to put up my heart for more target practice. And I am not about to repeat that, now!"

David frowned. "I know I put very little effort into our relationship, back then."

They looked at each other. Silence.

He whispered, "Shouldn't we give our relationship a chance?"

Beatrice wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't afford to put herself in this situation again. Not again. She was sure, that going through the same stuff, again, she would not survive that again. Given what he said earlier, she knew that he, like her, had put everything into their business to take their minds of their personal situation. She put everything into her fledging business. She put everything into her business to avoid thinking about her circumstances. All her energy, her ambition, her resolve. That is what happened to her. Developed grit! It took a simple, naïve woman, and made her a resilient, independent woman. Strength of mind. That is what she had, she thought. But clearly, that strength of mind was just an illusion. One kiss.

David prompted gently, "You know we have chemistry." David hoped that was true, that she knew they had it. Maybe not at the start of their relationship, but now, he knew they had chemistry. He knew it.

That had her breath stalling. She blinked as she processed David's statement. If only. Her heart sighed, but her mind reminded her that she was not a fool. One kiss was not enough. They stood and looked at each other. David waited. She eventually shook her head.

She looked askance, softly she asked, earnestly and solemnly, "Based on one kiss?"

Even though her heart was still pounding. How could a kiss cause such chaos in her life? Her head was fighting with her heart. This didn't make any sense. In the back of her headshe wondered why: why now? I am the same woman. No, you aren't, her heart told her. Her mind rebuttal her heart's statement: He hadn't even bothered to look at you when he had you in his life? That was the thought that kept going around her head. Her mind won. A few weeks ago David wanted a divorce. And now he wants me? Why?