Just Breathe

March 4

I broke up with him so you'd be okay. You told me it was stupid to date him but it's stupid to break up with him. God. I don't know what to say. I love him and even though you think love is stupid I love him. I gave him up for you. I'm so stupid. Now I can never feel his lips again or the warmth of his body. Now it's going to be awkward when we talk. Now I'm going to torture myself over this.

I'm going to walk until my feet hurt
Then I'm going to walk some more
I'm going to keep walking till this feeling is no more
I listened to you now you listen to me I can't take it anymore so I'm just going to leave.
I'm sick of the ultimatums where I have no choice. Lose him. Lose her. I mean what's the point. So I've made my choice. One where I leave. Because I feel like I've been crying for eternity. I don't know what to do but it hurts that y'all think it too. I can't do this again after all the pain I've been through. I can no longer speak. I have no words to say. Hopefully I'll meet you again on another day. I guess what I want doesn't count. My happiness was worthless. Because at the end of this day I gave it all up. I gave it up for y'all. I'm sorry if y'all ever see my face. I can't smile anymore. I can't sleep. I haven't eaten since last Friday I think. I'm sorry for believing that I could be the one I'm sorry for opening up. This all could sound selfish but I can't let him lose her because of me. So you were right it didn't last. So much for forever even though that how long this feeling will last. You'll find me in the background. I'll no longer say a word. Don't be sorry this is my choice. I'm sorry I thought that I could rejoice. Although I'll be hurt I'll still force a smile so no one asks any questions for a while. I guess it was stupid for me to believe that one day people would chose me. So I'm walking away. Then I'm going to walk some more. Hopefully until this feeling is no more.