lovely // Lil Xan 💔

eight

-Mariana's (Possible Trigger Warning)-

I woke up, feeling numb. I felt like a piece of me had been taken away. I hated myself for letting this happen.

Why did I let this happen?
Why did I lead him on?
Why was I flirting with him?
Why didn't I just walk away when he tried talking to me?
Why me?

I was ashamed of myself. I didn't feel like myself anymore.

"Hey Lil Ma. How you feeling?" Xan told me as he entered my room

"What are you doing here?" I asked confused

"I wasn't gonna leave you alone after what happened last night" He responded

I smiled, "Thank you!"

"Hey Diego, You know that what happened last night wasn't your fault right?" I asked him

"I mean it kinda was because I was the one who promised you-"

I interrupted him, "It wasn't your fault! If it was anyone's fault it was that stupid ass Noah's fault! You did promise me you where gonna be by my side at the party and you where! I was the one that left, so I could have some fun and so you could too! I didn't want you to feel like you were gonna babysit me!"

"But I promised you!"

"You kept your promise by looking for me when you noticed I was gone and comforting me after what happened! And you're still here, which means a lot to me" I told him

"But can we just stop talking about it right! I'm still in shock." I told him

"Yeah of course! Do you want anything?" He asked

"Could you lay with me? I just don't wanna be alone right now"

"Yeah of course" He responded as he laid next to me

I didn't like that Diego was blaming himself for something that was my fault.

-Ethan's POV-

I walked into our apartment. I needed to make sure she was okay.

I knocked on her bedroom door. She didn't answer so I slowly opened the door and realized that Xan and Mariana were peacefully sleeping together on her bed.

She looked really calm and I didn't want to wake her up, so I just waited in the living room.

- Mariana -

I explained everything to Ethan. Every single detail.

"So you know how he looks like?" He asked furious

"Yeah. Why?" I questioned

"Because we are gonna go to the police station and report him!" He yelled

"Why? It's no use! They won't do anything." I replied

"Well we have to do something!" He yelled

"I'm going to the doctor later today. To check that I'm okay and stuff. Then maybe I'll think about going to the police"

"I needa go talk to Xan!" Eth angrily said

"Why?"

"Because it's his fault this happened!"

"I already told you it wasn't his fault! So when he comes back just drop it !" I responded

Ethan continued to think that it was Diego's fault! When it wasn't at all.

-

Diego came back with some breakfast. I wasn't really hungry though so I wasn't going to eat.

Eth was clenching his fist like he was trying really hard not to punch someone right now.

"Eth I bought you some—" Xan didn't get to finish his sentence because Ethan had punched him

"Ethan what the fuck!" I shouted

"It's his fault! If he never left you alone at that stupid party this wouldn't have happened" He said as he went towards Xan again

I pushed Ethan as hard as I could to get him to stay away from Diego.

"Calm the fuck down Ethan! If you think this was Diego's fault you are wrong! It was ME! It was me that left Diego at the party! I left him so I could meet new people! And maybe find a new friend or a new lover! It was all on Me! Not Diego"

"Mariana! It isn't your fault! How many times do I have to tell you! it was Noah's fault! It was all his fault! And we have tell someone. So he doesn't do the same thing he did to you, to someone else" Diego told me

I knew he was right, but I was just too scared to tell someone what he did to me.