Claiming Her

Twenty Four

HIS POV

I let out a heavy sigh before wrapping my arms around her waist. "Baby.." I softly called, she stood up.

"Wag mo ako i-baby baby, Padilla, hindi mo magagamit sakin yang charms mo, I need explanations.. now!" She demanded.

"First of all I'm so sorry sa lahat baby." I inhaled sharply. I began to panic, I can't do this. I can't tell her, I can't lose her. I can't.

She just nodded as I continued.

"The day I saw you sa BDSM bar naattract na agad ako sayo. Totoo yan. Inaamin ko yan." My voice was beginning to crack.

I was dying to tell her the truth but she can't handle it. I know she can't.

"So we made a bet." I lied.

"B-bet?" She asked shakily.

"Yes s-sabi ko kayang kaya kita pahulugin sakin, baby. I'm sorry." I tried to reach her cheeks but she looked away.

"C-can you give me a little time... please?" She begged and I nodded.

I stood up and wore my boxers before getting out of the room. Another bullshit, Daniel, good job.

I'm so sorry JC I can't do my promise anymore. I love her so much already tol. Hindi ko na kaya. Ayoko na syang mawala. Tol sorry. Pero life got better nung minahal ko sya eh. She's my light. Sorry. I said, facing up at the ceiling.

I was outside, in garden.

I felt a rain drop, until several started to fall.

The rain, keeping me company.

I didn't bother moving.

I'm already crushed, knowing that uncertainty loomed.

I lied to protect her.

I can face anything, just so she won't get hurt. But fuck, I keep hurting her.

Whatever choices I make, I keep hurting her.

Am I not right for her? Well fuck it. I maybe selfish but I can't let her go.

When will our love be right? I can't let her go. I can't allow fucking destiny to decide our fate.

I love her so damn much. I love her so damn much and I hate myself for hurting her.

I love her.

"I love her." I just realized that I've been ugly crying.

Just the thought of losing her killed me.

When I lost my brother, it killed me. But just the thought of losing her already devastated me.

FUCK. Why did she have to be the reason why JC died?!

Why is the universe playing with me?!

Why are you making me choose between the living and the dead!?

Lord naman, kala ko ba friends na tayo. Tama na please. I pleaded.

"Bakit ang mahal ko pa?" I whispered.

"D-daniel." Her voice rasped, Kathryn.

I turned to her, there she is. That moment I finally let my anger go.

After a year, I could finally breathe.

I was still grieving, but who stops grieving really?

I know it's not fair, but all's fair in love and war, right?

"Baby brat." I smiled at her.

A smile that's hiding behind my tears.

"Kelan naging totoo?" Her voice sounded so dry.

"It was always real, Kath. It was never a lie. I just can't face it." I took a step closer to her.

I just can't face that the truth is ugly.

She was at the doorway.

"Naging masaya ka b-ba? Sa ginawa m-mo? " Then her tears started to fall.

I was already infront of the girl I loved the most, I was staring at her tears.

I wanted it to stop, I wanted it to end. I missed her laugh already.

"Magkano na-napanalunan m-mo?!" She asked, furiously.

I tried hugging her but she just pushed me away. I was feeling so weak that I can't even fight her. I fucking want to wipe all her tears awat.

I fucking want to heal all the pain she was feeling, but I was hurting too, I was crying too.

The world caters too much to girls, I knew this sounded sexist, but just because they're perceived weak, they're always right? What about me?

What about me?

MY BROTHER DIED, BUT I CHOSE TO FORGIVE HER. I EVEN CHOSE TO LOVE HER!

"I love you." I whispered.

"Yan, ayan ka nanaamn. Punyeta, Daniel ang sakit sakit!" She yelled.

"I love you." I repeated, feeling tired, I fell on my ass.

"Daniel, ayoko na."

"Kath don't please. Please dont." I begged.

I crawled up on my knees and begged, "I love you so much baby brat." I love you so much that I choose to make me look like an asshole just to save you from all the pain.

"I fucking love you, baby brat." I begged even more.

"Daniel, maling mali na eh." She continued to cry, the girl I love the most, crying.

You fucking idiot, Daniel.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what was right anymore.

I heard her murmur something but I blacked out that my mind had trouble processing what she said.

"I'm .... you aren't... my.... I.... you.... to....father"