The Unforgettable Night She Couldn't Remember

The Visit

Shaking I pick up the black, cold, metal phone that is to my right. I take a deep breath and let it out even though I'm pretty sure it went through the line.

"How are you doing here Kendall? Can you help me understand why you are here, because can't wrap my head around this whole thing, and I just don't understand. What was going through your head, because I just can't process that kind of thinking?" Right off the bat I know that I have lost her alliance. My only teammate is now gone. She has abandoned me. Good, she's finally getting smart. Soon maybe she'll understand that her daughter is and will always be an uncontrollable fuck up.

"Look mom I'm truly so sorry about all of this. I don't know what happened or what I was thinking Tuesday night. Please tell me that all of this is just a screwed up misunderstanding that you already fixed just so that I'd learn my lesson, and now that I have learned that lesson, you're here to pick me up, because I'm finally allowed to come home." At this point all I can do is try to explain myself, but I doubt that I'm going to be able to talk myself outta this one.

"Of course you don't know any of what happened! Your blood alcohol was .246! And there is no misunderstanding regarding your actions, so I hope you get comfortable here, because you're not going home anytime soon. Even if you were being released, I wouldn't let you back into my house!" Okay I figured that my dad would be pretty pissed at me, but I didn't think that he would disown me. I don't even know what's going on and he doesn't even what to try to help me. I'm just a lost cause to him. I'm just a lost, untrainable puppy that no one wants, and I can't stop myself from breaking down into tears.

"Do you know what happened that night or what I did before I ended up here? Because I can't remember anything before and after, and I know that I messed up, but I'm so confused and I need your help. I just need you to know that I'm so sorry for all of this and it will never happen again, okay. I promise." I promise? Yeah like he's never heard that one before. I don't even know what the word promise means anymore.

"You did more than just mess up Kendall! God what got into you! Just when I thought I had my daughter back you go out and do this?!" He screams at me triggering an anxiety attack that takes my air away leaving my struggling for every breath. Tears stain my face and I'm choking on my own guilt. I don't even bother telling my dad that his yelling hurts me mentally.

"We both know that you're sorry, but you could've killed someone including yourself, and the daughter I know would've never done any of this. And I don't truly think that you've fully learned your lesson just yet. And if we rescue you from this mess, you'll just do it again, so you're on your own for this one." And just like that I have proved myself right. Just like that my mom will never be able to take my side ever again. I guess I'm going to have to be the one to live with it.

"Please mom, I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you! I need you! Please don't leave me here!" I scream hoping maybe she'll change her mind, but instead I make her cry.

"And I don't want to talk to you through a jail phone, looking at you through glass, but look where we are. And just so you know I don't want to leave you, but I don't have any other options." She's right and I know that she's right. I hate to say it but everything that both of my parents have been saying are right.

"I just can't do this anymore! I need to go!" My father screams into the phone before throwing it at the shatter proof glass separating us. My mom shakingly takes the swinging and now scratched phone. You can see the black paint smeared from the phone onto the glass right where it impacted.

"I should go comfort your father, but don't leave just yet, because your brothers are here, and they want to talk with you." She says calmly like she hasn't completely lost her composure and her mind.