Sincerely, Aurora

v.

[in which aurora writes to someone for forgiveness]

Marcus,                                                                                 [November 2, college year three]

Hey, Marcus. I’m already feeling guilty writing this. I’ve been avoiding you for a while and I realized you deserve some kind of explanation.

So, I’m sorry for everything. (By the way, I still have your jacket)*

You were in my geography class, but we never really talked. I saw you at parties often, you looked pretty popular. Your roommate, who happened to be in two of my other classes, kept hinting at you during out conversations. Harry would always try to bring you into the conversation until he got tired of it and told me you’ve liked me for a while. I was completely flattered and my cheeks heated up.

I know this isn’t an excuse, but I’ve been depressed for years now and I harbor this very, very low self-esteem. So when I heard this, I couldn’t have been happier. So I went up to you during Chris’ party. We talked and drank and we didn’t even smoke. You told me you thought it was dirty and unclassy so I tried to hide the fact that I smoked every day. I didn’t even know you but I felt like I should’ve already liked you after hearing you liked me. I know, I know. That isn’t an excuse either.

You told me how you felt and I kept changing the subject. But eventually, we went back to your dorm. Your room mates were either still partying or knocked out, so we fucked on your bed- as loud as possible. You were great, Marcus. It’s just that I couldn’t get the fact that I didn’t like you back out of my mind.

So I’m sorry, Marcus. I’m sorry for leaving after you fell asleep. I’m sorry for avoiding you. I’m sorry for leading you on. I don’t know how to completely apologize to you, Marcus. But I really need your forgiveness. Also, Marcus, I’m sorry for aborting the baby. I was going to name him after you.

                                                                                                                     Sincerely, Aurora.

 

*: read chapter one again, if you don’t remember why she has his jacket.