sonder

sam

one afternoon, i was walking to the dollar store a block from mistine high to buy myself some time (it costs more than a dollar though). in front of the librarian's picket fence, i saw this boy crash straight into a pole. he blinked a few times and rubbed his temple and then he was gone.

later in gym, i realized that boy was samuel or sam. his intimidating eyes looked funny with his silly smile. sam tucked his shoelaces into his sneakers instead of tying them. he wore the same black jeans every day and there wasn't once when they looked like they actually fit him. the kids called him naruto because he ran with his skinny arms extended behind him. sam listened to music with tangled up cerise headphones and so every time he served the volleyball, he had to take them off. i remember this drove them crazy. well, everything about sam drove them crazy (especially riley). i didn't really understand why until later.

after gym ended, sam sat behind me in a beige and muggy portable for health lessons. we were discussing our values as a class and sam raised his hand for a turn to speak. he chattered about stacks of cash so thick you could sleep on them and houses practically built out of gold. he went on and on about living in cancun and owning a car he could drive by the money-thirsty chicks. everyone frowned at sam. but he just shrugged and said, it's my life anyway before turning his attention back to his wish list.

family bingo in front of a fireplace's heat. records spinning and dancing with spatulas on sunday mornings. listening to the pilot's voice and the strange feeling of ascending. afternoons of holding your freckled cousin's arm as she stumbles in your mother's red heels. scenic drives accompanied by mango ice cream. that's what other kids said. that's what we'll remember on our deathbeds, they said.

it was true. but sam's heart was always a little lost. like when he was seven, the kids in his neighborhood had flower gardens. roses, buttercups, chrysanthemums, and marigolds. sam wanted his garden to look just as beautiful as the other kids'. he did his best to tend to it but the flowers almost always looked droopy and sad. soon sam started hating those blossoms and the way they reminded him of his misery and how they never listened to his pleads. one day i'll hire a gardener and mine will be the loveliest in town, he told himself. but if someone would've told sam it wasn't about the quality of the flowers but instead the grand beauty of their life, perhaps he wouldn't have ran into that pole in front of the librarian's picket fence.